Strategy’s Bitcoin Bonanza: $963M to Make Satoshi Cry & Other Tales

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In a move that makes even the most hardened treasure hunters blink, Strategy-ever the daring financier-has plucked 10,624 shiny digital nuggets from the ether, all for a cool $962.7 million, which averages out to roughly $90,615 per bit of digital gold. 🎩💰

This isn’t just a small snack; oh no, it’s a banquet! As of December 7, 2025, Strategy, the digital conquistador, boasts a staggering hoard of 660,624 BTC, amassed for a total tidy sum of approximately $49.35 billion – yes, billion with a B – at an average venture cost of $74,696 a coin. It’s basically the Monopoly board come to life, with Strategy owning Mayfair and Park Lane at the same time. 🏦😏

This latest buy is the pièce de résistance in their relentless, almost obsessive, quest for Bitcoin domination-because why keep a little when you can have a mountain? As the world watches, Strategy cements itself as a titan among corporations, the digital wolf at the crypto door, pawing eagerly at its virtual treasure chest.

And all of this, dear reader, might just make Satoshi chuckle in his virtual grave-who says you can’t turn pixels into piles of paper profit? 📈👀

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2025-12-08 16:50