Snap’s Dismal Day & My AI Paranoia

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There’s something about watching a stock tank that makes me think of my mother’s attempts at modern art. She once glued a garden gnome to a toaster and called it “Post-Lunch Sentiment.” Snap (SNAP) shares fell 9.2% on Tuesday afternoon, which is about the same percentage of my patience that dissolves when someone says “disruption” in a meeting. But let’s not pretend this is just another Tuesday. It’s Tuesday with a side of existential dread.

Snap’s decline wasn’t just a solo act. Consumer discretionary stocks yawned their way through the day after September’s consumer sentiment numbers arrived like an unwelcome guest at a dinner party-lower than expected, but still somehow expected. Meanwhile, OpenAI, that AI darling who’s been winning the tech popularity contest since 2015, dropped a new app that smells suspiciously like a TikTok clone. I’ve seen this movie before, and it always ends with someone’s mom being a cameo in a video of a holographic avocado toast.

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OpenAI’s New Hobby: Social Media

Last night, Wired reported that OpenAI is launching a vertical video app powered by its Sora 2 model. The description sounds like someone described TikTok to a robot who then decided to add “cameos” using a one-time video-and-audio recording. I can already picture my uncle John, who still thinks “swipe” is a type of sandwich, trying to upload a 30-second clip of himself arguing with Alexa. The app’s blog post even mentions “remarkable fidelity,” which I’m 97% sure is code for “your face will look like a melted crayon in a digital toaster oven.”

Of course, not all of social media will be taken over by AI. People will still send videos of their cats falling off couches. But let’s not kid ourselves-OpenAI is now the cool kid in a room full of everyone who’s ever tried to monetize a hashtag. Snap, already sweating bullets from TikTok and Instagram, now has to worry about a company that once called a chatbot “a sentient being.” It’s like asking your neighbor if they’ve seen your missing cat, only to find out they’ve replaced the cat with a Roomba.

And then there’s the consumer sentiment numbers. The Conference Board released September’s reading at 94.2, which is like getting a B- on a math test and wondering why the teacher’s disappointed. Snap lives on ad revenue, and when people stop spending money on avocado toast, they also stop spending money on ads for avocado toast. It’s a chain reaction, like knocking over a Jenga tower made of gluten-free crackers.

A Value Trap, or Just a Family Secret?

Snap’s stock is down 30% this year, which makes it tempting for value investors. But let’s not forget that “value” often means “someone else’s problem.” The company’s 2025 earnings estimate is a non-GAAP figure that ignores stock-based compensation, which is like saying your mortgage payment is “only” $1,000 a month if you ignore the property taxes. In reality, Snap lost over $400 million in the first half of the year. That’s enough to fund a very long vacation for someone who’s never heard of “work-life balance.”

I’m not saying Snap is doomed. But I am saying that investing in it feels like lending money to my cousin who’s convinced he’ll win the lottery by buying every ticket. OpenAI’s new app is just another reminder that the tech world moves faster than my ability to delete unused apps from my phone. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned from both finance and family, it’s that sometimes the best strategy is to sit back, sip your coffee, and hope the next crisis comes with better snacks.

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2025-10-01 01:10