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Per the latest Digital Asset Fund Flows Report, the discerning eyes of institutional investors poured record sums into ETH exchange-traded products (ETPs) last week. A feat most worthy of a standing ovation—or at least a well-dressed gentleman with a quill.

On a most auspicious Monday, the exchange decreed that U.S. folk could now tango with perpetual derivatives through their Coinbase Financial Markets account. Yes, you heard right: BTC-PERP and ETH-PERP are here, ready to whisk you away on a rollercoaster of risk and reward. Because nothing says “fun” like betting on crypto without an end date. 😏

In an ear-splitting announcement shared on the bustling bazaar of X social media, the illustrious marketing queen, Lucie, has graced us with insightful revelations about the impending altcoin carnival, intricately detailing the escapades awaiting SHIB. First off, what’s a party without Bitcoin? The mighty BTC, like a polished performer, breaks down those oh-so-crucial resistance levels, reclaiming its self-proclaimed throne of market dominance. Thereafter, Ethereum steps in, gallantly waving its digital flag, signaling the commencement of capital’s exuberant exodus to the expansive altcoin tapestry.

This little drama, which feels like it’s been pulled straight from a soap opera written by accountants, centers around something called the “Motion for Leave.” No, it’s not a new dance craze or a vegan smoothie trend—it’s the FTX estate’s desperate plea for extra time to explain why it wants to stop paying back creditors in countries with what they call “vague or restrictive crypto laws.” You know, those places where regulators might throw the book at them—or worse, toss their executives into jail. 🚓💸

As our gaze shifts back to the elusive altcoins, a handful of underappreciated tokens have emerged from their shadows, waving their little hands and shouting, “Look at me!” According to the sacred scrolls of Coingecko, let us behold three top gainers worthy of your attention this fine week in July: