Both stocks have become holy relics for dividend investors, clinging to their 50-year payout streaks like addicts to a dwindling stash. But let’s be clear: this is not about growth. This is about survival in a world where people are finally realizing that soda is a slow-motion poison. One of these stocks might still be salvageable, but the other? Well, let’s just say it’s a house of cards built on a sugar-fueled acid trip.
Consider the iconic S&P 500 (^GSPC), which in early April shed 10.5% of its essence over two days—a wound so fresh it ranked among the five deepest in 75 years. The Nasdaq Composite (^IXIC), that restless child of technological dreams, tumbled into a bear market, its innocence lost anew. Yet within this chaos lay absurdity: a week later, these indices staged a resurrection so miraculous they might have borrowed wings from Icarus himself, soaring to heights unseen since their birth.
Pump.fun [PUMP] plummeted 8% on Saturday, July 26th, only to stumble upon a fleeting moment of sobriety by dusk.
Meanwhile, this case is unfolding in the Southern District of New York, with crypto enthusiasts glued to their screens—because, let’s face it, what else are they doing? The stakes are high, not just financially, but politically. On January 30, while Hayden was schmoozing with Argentina’s President Javier Milei at Casa Rosada, who do you think did a little $500,000 USDC transfer from his wallets to Kraken? Coincidence? I think not! Milei’s already on the crypto-endorsement bandwagon, so naturally, the suspicions are flying faster than a meme at a cat video convention. 🐱💰
The Bitcoin in question hailed from the halcyon days of cryptocurrency’s infancy, when “Satoshi” wasn’t yet a household name and mining could be done on a Commodore 64 (or so it seems in retrospect). This particular stash, dating back to around 2010 or 2011, was as rare as a decent martini in a provincial pub. Thus, its sale carried the gravitas of a royal wedding—or at least a very posh garden party.
Oh, how Bitcoin has flourished! We find it lounging comfortably over 60% of the market like a wealthy aristocrat at a banquet, while the altcoins scatter haplessly like a troop of misfit clowns. Alas, the very idea that money might continue to pour into Bitcoin while altcoins rein in their dreams brings an amusing tension to our investment stage. Yet, even against this formidable backdrop, could our favored altcoins somehow wiggle their way into renewed glory? Let us peek cautiously into the crystal ball!
CoreWeave and Nebius, names that echo faintly with the weight of ambition, have risen with a velocity usually reserved for fallen idols. Investors, caught in the current of a new technological delirium, have thrown capital towards these entities, convinced they hold the keys to a kingdom built on artificial intelligence. The year has unfolded with a grace inversely proportional to the frenzy it has inspired, with CoreWeave ascending a dizzying 224% since its debut in March, and Nebius, a more modest, yet still substantial, 84% climb. Both are merchants of raw potential, renting out the muscle – the graphic processing units – that allow others to breathe sentience into machines, to create phantoms in the digital ether, and, of course, to profit handsomely from the illusion.
Netflix has become this giant, all-powerful streaming beast, but here’s the thing: it’s never touched the ground. No theme parks, no cruises, no merch. It’s like a ghost in the physical world. Meanwhile, Disney? They’ve got the monopoly on joy, or at least the monopoly on people paying $20 for a cotton candy that’s basically a brick. But maybe Netflix is just waiting for the right moment to drop a bombshell.
Alas, dear reader, this summer has brought with it a distinct and unsettling malaise, as BYD’s monthly sales have stagnated like an old sock lost at the bottom of the metaphorical laundry basket. Traditionally, the summer months are akin to watching paint dry—the kind of waiting game that’s just as thrilling as looking for lost socks. And while many assumed BYD would glide through these slower months with the grace of a seasoned tightrope walker, reality appears to have other plans. With a heavy dose of governmental disapproval (think of Mother Nature wagging her finger at you), BYD’s daring pricing cuts have ignited a rather unfriendly competition, one that has the industry munched upon by the jaws of rapidly diminishing margins.
The more pertinent observation, the one that clings to the discerning eye, is that the stock still languishes some distance from its former glory. A circumstance, I submit, that makes it… interesting. Particularly for those of us who find ourselves contemplating the possibility – and honestly, it’s only a matter of time – of a rather unpleasant bear market. Allow me to provide a rationale, in three sober measures.