Solana ETF Filing: Wall Street’s Latest Fad or the End of Civilization as We Know It?

This marks the ninth—yes, the ninth—such petition, as though filing S-1s were the latest trend amongst people with far too little to do on a Thursday. Institutional interest in these so-called “altcoins” is evidently mounting, presumably because some analyst stuck a dart in a chart and declared crypto “in.” Still, hope springs eternal, and forms multiply like rabbits at a country estate. 🐇

BTC/RUB

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The Real Reason Bankers Are Frothing Over Tokenization (Hint: It’s Not the Tech)

Real-world asset (RWA) tokenization has, against all odds and a mountain of jargon, outlived its awkward adolescence. What was once a mid-2000s startup fever dream now boasts over $20 billion in “tokenized assets,” and has somehow roped in Apollo, BlackRock, Hamilton Lane, KKR, and VanEck. Which means, naturally, that your uncle with the digital ape JPEG probably feels validated. Institutions sniffed around, kicked the tires, and decided, “Yeah, let’s put real stuff on the blockchain. Why not? What could possibly go wrong? 😅”

XRP Price Rockets as Analyst Warns: “Brace Yourself for the Inevitable — or Else!” 🚀😱

The year began almost charmed: XRP, like a careworn student suddenly favored by a stern governess, flirted with its January highs. Victories in dusty American courts—against the stony U.S. SEC no less!—gave cause for hope and even a muted celebration. Partnerships blossomed. Were we fools to imagine peace? Alas, global drama cares little for crypto dreams. Just as the samovar boils at the most inopportune moment, so too did the world’s agitation send XRP tumbling, down to an ignoble $1.91 before pulling itself up by its own bootstraps (or whatever digital assets use for boots these days) to exchange glances with $2.28—stubborn as any Russian checkpoint.