Jack Dorsey’s New App: Seriously?

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Oh, look. Jack Dorsey – yes, *that* Jack Dorsey, the one who occasionally pops up to remind us he still exists 🙄 – has been tinkering. Apparently, he’s got this little project called BitChat. It’s a messaging app. Groundbreaking, I know. It runs on…decentralized networks. Which basically means it’s designed for people who really, *really* don’t trust anyone. Or have terrible signal.

He announced, via his favored platform (X, naturally. Where else?), that BitChat is getting “location chat.” Because apparently, knowing someone is nearby isn’t creepy enough. Now you can “teleport” into chats with them. Which is a very generous way of saying it uses geohashes – look it up, I’m not explaining it. 🗺️ Honestly, it sounds like he’s trying to recreate the plot of a really niche sci-fi film.

coming very soon to bitchat: location chat. chat with anyone in nearby regions (block/neighborhood/city/region/country). or teleport to anywhere in the world via a geohash.

it works by using geohashes to map the world into chat channels, uses a new pseudonym per geohash for…

– jack (@jack) August 21, 2025

The whole thing hinges on getting a new anonymous nickname for each location. Privacy! 🕵️‍♀️ Though, let’s be real, if you’re genuinely concerned about privacy, probably don’t announce it on a social media platform. Just a thought.

Innovation? Or Just a Hobby?

Currently, Apple is deciding if this digital masterpiece is worthy of gracing the App Store. If it passes, who knows? Maybe it’ll actually get used. Or maybe it’ll remain a digital ghost town. It’s currently in that awkward stage of early adoption where people are politely asking if anything’s *wrong* because nobody else is online. 👻

Dorsey’s response? “No, just needs time.” Right. Like a fine wine. Or a really ambitious sourdough starter. Someone actually asked if you could genuinely “teleport” anywhere in the world, and he said “yes.” 🤦‍♀️ I genuinely wonder if he’s messing with us at this point.

People are cautiously optimistic, mostly because they feel obligated to be polite. Some like the idea of chatting without needing Wi-Fi, others are worried the whole thing will just…flop. Which, let’s be honest, is a distinct possibility.

Ultimately, BitChat is just another piece in Dorsey’s whole “let’s rebuild the internet” puzzle. Whether it actually *works* is… debatable. But hey, at least it gives him something to do. 😉

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2025-08-21 13:17