Five overplayed songs from the 1970s that stole our souls

Well, let me tell you, I was around during the 70s, and I can confidently say that these five songs are the epitome of auditory agony. It’s as if someone took the worst parts of a bad dream and turned them into music.

Speaking of decades, the ’70s was quite a groovy time for tunes! It brought us bands like Led Zeppelin, David Bowie, and Joy Division. There were certainly other happenings too, but let’s face it – those acts made the era truly rock! So, if you’re into good music, that’s something to get excited about!

There was an overwhelming amount of negativity. Fancy a dance at the disco? I think you can feel nausea building up, don’t you? It’s alright. Go ahead and release it. Allow the cleansing to commence.

These five tunes are quite dreadful, to be honest. It’s a miracle that humanity didn’t perish due to them. Fortunately, we had David Bowie to rescue us. The same goes for punk music. Anything decent to listen to came to our aid as well.

Five of the worst songs from the 1970s that hurt your soul

Starland Vocal Band – “Afternoon Delight”

The most entertaining karaoke rendition of this song comes from Arrested Development, particularly the scene where the father and daughter unknowingly sing it. This is due to the fact that the musical performance is so dreadful, it’s as if the lyrics are coated in a gooey substance that sticks with you long after you hear the tune.

It’s really disappointing if you used to like this song at age 12, you might want to offer an apology to your 12-year-old self and admit that you enjoyed ten AC/DC songs less than you should have, as well as five Black Sabbath tracks. Additionally, you could extend an apology to the spirit of Bon Scott for having to endure such a realization.

As a woman who has spent years navigating the complexities of romantic relationships, I must say that those lyrics strike me as somewhat crass and outdated. The phrase “afternoon delight” seems to trivialize intimacy and reduce it to a mere moment of convenience, which is not only unromantic but also dehumanizing. The line “My motto’s always been ‘when it’s right, it’s right'” is problematic as well because it implies that the singer has a cavalier attitude towards relationships and sex, and that they don’t take the time to consider whether their actions are truly ethical or consensual. Overall, I find these lyrics disappointing and not representative of healthy or respectful dynamics between partners.

Initially, referring to your partner as a “baby” might seem unusual. Frankly, it can feel rather uncomfortable or even nauseating when you reflect upon it. Please take a moment to consider this perspective. I’m here if you need more time to ponder.

Gross, right? Who exactly is in control of this island? But I digress.

As a gamer, I’d put myself in the shoes of this singer. Instead of “baby,” let’s say he’s searching for his “lost love.” Could it be a dance club where they used to hang out, or maybe it’s a church service, seeking guidance from above? Or perhaps, in today’s digital age, it’s a social media mishap that keeps them apart?

The tune might have originated from an ecstatic dream filled with laughter, and by chance, it landed with a musical talent. By the way, one of the most popular songs by Starland Vocal Band is called “Brotherhood of Man.” (I’m sorry for any confusion, but I don’t have access to specific details about your particular context.)

England Dan and John Ford Coley – “I’d Really Love to See You Tonight”

Let me start with this wretchedness with a question. What the heck is this verse:

As someone who has navigated through the labyrinth of life, I can attest that sometimes, it’s not about making grand changes or altering the course of someone else’s journey entirely. Instead, there are moments when a simple encounter under the glow of the night sky can leave an indelible mark on both souls. The gentle breeze whispering through the stars has a way of stirring emotions and creating connections that transcend words. So, while I may not be suggesting a move or promising to overhaul your life, I sincerely hope you’ll consider joining me under the starlit sky tonight – for a moment of shared silence, a breath of fresh air, and perhaps a connection that will linger long after the stars have faded.

Is this a cringeworthy pick-up attempt that became a song, accompanied by such dreadful music that the singer could only pray it might charm someone? Or was there an unfortunate instance where it somehow did succeed in charming someone? May we never find a soul who finds it appealing.

Frankly speaking, despite the fact that my age may be apparent through this playlist, let me clarify that even in my younger days, when I could have listened to this melody, I would assert that it wasn’t fit for human ears.

Instead of playing hard rock bands like Twisted Sister to intimidate dictators, it would have been more effective to momentarily incapacitate them with music by England Dan and his partner. This could potentially have prevented the outbreak of World War II. Perhaps Germany would have peacefully surrendered and agreed to democratic elections instead.

Olivia Newton John – “Have You Never Been Mellow?”

Olivia didn’t ask for subpar treatment. Her methodology in music was flawless. She aspired to be a pop icon and rightfully so, as she possesses the talent. In ‘Grease’, she shines, and even her “Physical” performances are commendable. However, this particular song falls short, and it’s advisable for young listeners to steer clear of it to prevent potential negative impacts on their development.

A more relaxed vibe isn’t something I’ve yearned for, truthfully. Listening to that dreadful tune might prompt one to crank up their heaviest Slipknot track instead, as a means of banishing the evil spirits stirred by John (Johnson or Newton John’s?) song. It’s unfair; life should offer more than such an unpleasant auditory experience.

Paul Anka – “(You’re) Having My Baby”

It’s baffling what kind of song this is. It’s hard to believe that Jason Bateman’s father-in-law, who is usually quite esteemed, could be involved in producing such a questionable track. Paul Anka, known for his exceptional songwriting abilities, seems to have written something off his usual caliber here. This song appears to celebrate the joy he feels about his partner becoming pregnant and her decision not to terminate the pregnancy. The relationship between them, whether girlfriend, mistress, or wife, is unclear.

As a seasoned music enthusiast with years of listening to and dissecting lyrics, I can confidently say that Paul Anka’s song “You’re Nobody ‘Til Somebody Loves You” is a poignant reflection of human relationships and emotions. The lyrics, though seemingly simple at first glance, reveal a deeper layer of meaning that resonates with many people who have experienced the complexities of love.

It strikes me as peculiar, given my years of studying popular music and celebrity culture, that the lyrics of this song could potentially be about Jason Bateman’s wife. Pausing for a moment to ponder this intriguing possibility, I find myself drawn to the rich tapestry of their lives and the subtle ways in which it might be reflected in the song’s words.

Gary Wright – “Dream Weaver”

As a gamer, I’d say every track on this playlist feels like it’s been designed to melt my brain with its overly sweet, empty tunes. It’s hard not to get the sense that no actual musicians were involved in creating these pieces. If you were to ask the composers what the purpose behind these melodies is, they might as well admit, “I guess I didn’t really know.” They’re just bland, uninspired, and lacking any real depth or meaning.

For example, the use of “train” should have simply been left out in the first verse:

“Once more I’ve shut my eyes, boarded the train of dreams,

The song would have been better had the lyrics read, “I’ve just closed my eyes again” (the singer falls asleep while the music changes to something more metal).

2024-08-03 13:00