So, everyone’s talking about dividend stocks. Ten thousand dollars, they say. Like it’s just lying around. Anyway, I was looking at Coca-Cola – Coca-Cola (KO +1.27%) – because, fine, it’s recognizable. And apparently, Warren Buffett likes it. Which, okay, good for Warren Buffett. Doesn’t mean I have to.
They just announced their 64th consecutive annual dividend increase. Sixty-four! It’s… excessive. Like they’re trying to impress someone. A ten-thousand-dollar investment gets you about $262 a year. Two hundred and sixty-two dollars! You know what that buys you these days? Approximately nothing. Still, it’s something. They’re predicting growth, naturally. Everyone’s always predicting growth. It’s the stock market equivalent of saying “have a nice day.”
The quarterly dividend is up to $0.53 a share. Fifty-three cents! It’s a nickel and a dime and another dime. The yield is 2.62%. Look, I’m not a mathematician, but it feels… insufficient. Analysts expect them to earn $3.23 a share in 2026. So, they’re making money. Good for them. Still doesn’t explain why they need to flaunt this dividend thing.
And people are still buying this stuff. Despite everything. The prices of everything are insane, yet Coca-Cola sold $47.9 billion worth of sugary water last year. It’s baffling. They have 32 brands that each make over a billion dollars. A billion dollars. What are people doing with all this stuff? I don’t understand the consumer. I really don’t.
They’ve been around for decades, obviously. Apparently, they only had one year of declining sales in the last 50. Fifty years! That’s… unsettling. It means they’re resilient, sure, but it also means they’ve figured out how to sell you something you probably don’t need for half a century. It’s a little creepy, honestly. They’ve mastered the art of persistence. Or manipulation. One of the two.
There are risks, of course. People might decide they don’t want sugar water anymore. But they’ve been adapting. Gaining market share. Improving margins. Which means they’re raising prices. Of course they are. It’s always about the pricing power, isn’t it? It’s the fundamental law of capitalism. And it irritates me to no end.
Look, if you’re looking for a company that might send you a little check every quarter for the rest of your life, Coca-Cola is… a possibility. A mildly irritating, slightly unsettling possibility. But hey, what are you gonna do? It’s not like there are any good options out there.
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2026-03-02 15:22