Bitcoin Million-Dollar Omen? Novogratz Spills Doom Tea-Sip Carefully! 😱💰

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The devil walked into a midtown podcast studio wearing Patagonia, poured himself a Diet Coke, and declared: brace yourselves, comrades, a cool seven-zero-zero-zero-zero-zero-dollar Bitcoin isn’t champagne-it’s hemlock for the republic. 👹

Yes, Mike Novogratz, captain of Galaxy Digital and proud wearer of lucky Bitcoin socks, has unbuttoned his collar and prophesied thus: “If Satoshi’s coin taps one mil next year, don’t clap-cry, because Uncle Sam will be lying on the gurney with the dollar stuffed into every orifice.” In other words, buy the dip … in democracy. 🫠

Вредная стабильность

The financier-part wizard, part worried dad at a college party-prefers his Bitcoin cheap and his country’s mood swings medicated. A tranquil United States, even with sleepy charts, beats any rocket emoji moonshot that leaves Main Street looking like post-Mephistopheles Moscow. Digital gold? More like digital morphine for the panic-stricken. 🔱

Across the Twitter tavern, Crypto Gandalf @WolfOfAllStreets grumbled through his beard back in 2023: “We hit seven figures? Fasten seatbelts, turbulence equals existential crisis.” Note: seatbelts sold separately, batteries not included. ⚙️

Yet there are eager children in this sandbox. Arthur “BitMEX” Hayes juggles crystal balls shouting $750 k-$1 M by 2026! Samson Mow chants $1 M this year, next year, some year! One half expects a brass band of bulls to parade down Red Square wearing laser eyes and little else. 🎺

Debt: The Sequel No One Asked For

Novogratz then turned his rhetorical scalpel on poor Scott Bessent, freshly imported Treasury Secretary, whom fate has tasked with the heroic act of folding an ocean into a carry-on. Mike sighs: “Good man, wrong wand; the debt-to-GDP dragon is laughing at him.” Translation: strap in for an even bigger sequel-Debtpocalypse: The Rise of Printer Go Brrr. 📉💸

A treasury of bubbles

Finally, the CEO confesses the corporate world’s latest craze: every lemonade stand, laundromat, and astrologer now wants to stack sats on the balance sheet. Five calls a week-that’s more than Novo gets from his mother. He warns, “When the shoeshine boy starts explaining corporate NAV, the end is nigh.” Breed VC agrees, whispering of death spirals, balance-sheet exorcisms, and other bedtime stories that would spook even Pontius Pilate.

So, dear reader, if you hear champagne corks for a million-dollar Bitcoin in 2026, remember: sometimes fireworks are just the Kremlin burning. 🔥🥂

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2025-08-17 07:11