Right. So, Beyond Meat. Honestly, I usually watch that stock with the same level of detached amusement I reserve for reality TV. It’s a bit of a mess, isn’t it? But today? Today it actually did something interesting. A genuine, little upward tick. Fifteen percent, if you can believe it. And all because they’re…selling sparkling water. I mean, you have to admire the sheer audacity. Or maybe I’m just easily distracted by a good marketing pivot. Either way, investors piled in like they’d suddenly remembered they owned the stuff.
Drink up!
Apparently, Beyond Meat has decided the future isn’t just plant-based burgers, but also plant-based bubbles. They’ve unleashed four new flavors of their “Beyond Immerse” sparkling drink line. Cherry berry, strawberry lemonade, cucumber grapefruit, and, because why not, piña colada. It’s like they’re trying to solve a problem nobody knew existed: “I need my electrolytes and antioxidants… delivered via carbonation!” Honestly, it’s a bold move. I’m just picturing the marketing meetings now. So much earnest discussion about “immersive hydration.”
This doubles their range, which previously consisted of peach mango, lemon lime, and orange tangerine. Progress, I guess. It’s just… a lot. They’re going from trying to convince you to swap beef for pea protein to trying to convince you that fizzy water is a revolutionary health drink. It feels a bit… desperate, doesn’t it? Like a magician pulling rabbits out of a hat, hoping you won’t notice the hat is falling apart.
Their founder, Ethan Brown, said something about expanding beyond “center-of-the-plate protein.” Oh, he did. He actually said that. As if that’s a phrase anyone uses. He went on about “immersing the body in the remarkable power of plants.” I’m starting to think he’s been spending too much time with the product himself.
Several of many
Look, it’s good they’re trying something. Diversification is smart. But stepping into the specialty beverage market? It’s a crowded arena. Gatorade, Vitaminwater, a million different sparkling waters… they’re going up against giants. And honestly, while the drinks sound appealing, I suspect they’ll get lost in the noise. I mean, it’s not going to be the thing that magically fixes Beyond Meat’s fortunes, is it? I’m not holding my breath. I’ve seen too many promising stocks fizzle out (pun intended, naturally). I’m just saying, don’t mortgage the house on a piña colada-flavored recovery.
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2026-02-28 02:53