Avis’s Turbulent Ride as Hertz Drives Off with Amazon’s Crown

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Shares of Avis Budget Group (CAR) convulsed like a carburetor choking on bad fuel this Wednesday, shedding 6% with the theatrical despair of a silent film star. The culprit? A rival’s masterstroke in the century-long duel for automotive rental supremacy – a move that made the S&P 500‘s (^GSPC) 0.2% dip seem like a gentle rollercoaster ride.

The Hertz gambit

Hertz Global Holdings, that eternal thorn in Avis’s side, had just inked a pact with Amazon Autos – the digital colossus whose marketplace could sell ice to a polar bear. This alliance transforms the internet’s omnipresent bazaar into a showroom for Hertz’s pre-owned steeds, where buyers might find anything from a Toyota Corolla to a Cadillac Escalade without leaving their couch.

In this titanic struggle between two rental titans offering identical services across identical continents, differentiation is as rare as a honest taxi meter. Yet here was Hertz, suddenly possessing what Hemingway might’ve called “a move so sharp it could cut its own shadow” – access to Amazon’s bottomless well of consumers who click “Buy Now” before their coffee finishes brewing.

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Desperate times, desperate measures

One imagines Avis executives now scrambling like ants in a sugar factory, seeking digital saviors. Will they court eBay Motors with bouquets of stock options? Propose to Carvana over candlelit spreadsheets? Or perhaps attempt the impossible – creating their own marketplace in the shadow of Bezos’s empire? The odds, dear reader, are roughly those of selling sand in the Sahara.

Yet in this sordid ballet of commerce, one truth endures: when giants clash, the ground trembles. And somewhere, an intern is probably drafting a press release titled “Avis Partners With TikTok To Sell Rental Cars Via Dance Challenges” 🏁

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2025-08-21 02:04