AMD & Palantir: Seriously?

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Okay, so everyone’s talking about AI. Two point five trillion dollars by 2026, Gartner says. Trillion! It’s just… a lot of money. And naturally, everyone wants a piece. The problem is, it’s all hype until it actually, you know, makes money. And that’s where things get tricky. I was looking at a couple of these companies, Advanced Micro Devices and Palantir, and honestly, it’s exhausting. Everyone’s acting like they’ve discovered fire.

They say you can put a thousand dollars to work here. A thousand dollars! Like that’s going to solve anything. It’s barely enough to cover the late fee on my cable bill. But fine, let’s play along. Let’s pretend a thousand dollars is a significant investment.

The AMD Situation

AMD reported earnings. Impressive, they said. Thirty-four percent revenue increase? Okay, fine. But then the stock dropped. Dropped! After all that? It’s like inviting someone to a party, then slamming the door in their face. What message does that send? Apparently, investors wanted even more growth. They expected a “faster ramp-up” of AI GPU sales. As if these things just magically appear. It’s a manufacturing process, people! There’s a lead time! And now the stock is down thirteen percent. It’s infuriating.

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They’re talking about EPYC servers being in high demand. Hyperscalers, data centers… it’s all jargon. And 230 new EPYC-powered cloud offerings? Who’s counting? It’s just numbers. What does it mean? Apparently, it means something, because everyone’s acting like it’s a big deal. Eight out of the top ten AI companies are using AMD’s Instinct GPUs. Great. So what? Are they happy? Are they getting what they paid for? These are the questions no one asks.

They expect revenues from MI450 GPUs in the third quarter of 2026. 2026! That’s ages away. By then, the whole AI thing could be over. We’ll be onto the next shiny object. And then what? Everyone who bought AMD stock will be stuck holding the bag. It’s predictable.

Palantir: The Mystery Box

Palantir. Now there’s a name. Sounds like a James Bond villain. They provide tools for data intelligence. Which is just a fancy way of saying they collect and analyze information. And apparently, they’re good at it. Seventy percent revenue increase. Okay, fine. But what are they doing with all that data? That’s what I want to know. It’s unsettling.

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U.S. commercial revenues soared 137 percent. That’s… a lot. They’re penetrating the private sector. Which means they’re collecting data on us. On our shopping habits, our internet searches, our… everything. And they’re making money off it. It feels wrong.

They closed $4.3 billion in contract value bookings. Bookings! It’s a meaningless term. It doesn’t mean they’ve actually delivered anything. It just means they’ve signed some papers. And a net dollar retention rate of 139 percent? What does that even mean? It’s like they’re deliberately trying to confuse people. Their top 20 customers spent an average of $94 million. Ninety-four million dollars! On what? More data collection? It’s a vicious cycle.

They have this “Artificial Intelligence Platform” called AIP. It’s supposed to accelerate customer conversions. Which means it’s designed to get people to spend more money. It’s manipulative. And they trade at 73 times forward earnings. Seventy-three times! That’s absurd. It’s a bubble waiting to burst. But sure, go ahead, buy the stock. See what happens. I’ll be over here, trying to figure out why my cable bill is so high.

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2026-02-27 00:24