Oh, Base, the swiftest and most economical of Coinbase’s offspring, once pointed at scornfully for leeching life from Ethereum’s veins, might soon sprout its very own token. A morsel of news popped up on a Monday, a teasing whisper from the cryptocurrency exchange’s corner. Check it out!
Let’s cut through the corporate jargon and the boardroom incense: Target is a house of cards in a hurricane. Its Q2 2025 results? A 0.9% revenue drop, 1.2% same-store sales collapse. Meanwhile, Walmart is out there nuking its competitors with a 4.6% sales surge. Target’s “upscale” schtick? It’s a sinking ship with a first-class ticket to Nowhere, USA. The madness is palpable, the panic real. They’re selling overpriced organic kale to a public that’s just trying to survive inflation. 🌱
It’s like a bunch of folks with party hats waiting to dance, but suddenly they just decide to leave early. What gives, right? Well, let’s dig into this drama. 💥
Guys…. he’s tweeting about the stock. He’s buying the stock. Daddy’s home. 😱
In the annals of a Reuters report, there emerged speculation that orforglipron, a nascent contender in the realm of obesity treatment, might find its way to the hallowed halls of the FDA’s approval before the year’s end. Though uncertainty lingers like a fog on a quiet morning, optimism permeated among those keeping watch over Eli Lilly’s fortunes.
On September 16, Strive Inc. pulled off a clever little deal, snagging MSTR True North Inc. with what they call a “de minimis cash transaction.” In English? They basically got it for peanuts but claim it’s huge. True North’s been making money already, so this is like adopting that cousin who actually pays rent. The goal? To shove True North’s media and treasury stuff into Strive’s giant digital money machine without spending more cash. Strive hit a milestone in September 2025 by becoming the first publicly traded asset management bitcoin treasury company. Yeah, a mouthful, but important enough to flex about.
The market’s enthusiasm was, to be fair, somewhat understandable. One announcement detailed a potential successor to Wegovy, the drug that’s turned obesity into a lucrative niche for the company. The other suggested that Wegovy might do more than just melt away pounds-it might also help people stop thinking about cake. (A development so profound it could rival the invention of the tea bag.)
Picture this-the villainous marauder leverages a flash loan, buying a staggering 4.6 million shiny Bone ShibaSwap tokens (BONE, for those scoring at home). With this arsenal, they slip behind the curtain, slyly snatching validator signing keys and signing off on a transaction that sent a cool $2.4 million sprinting off the Shibarium bridge, faster than you can say “Satoshi’s revenge.”
Shares of AeroVironment (AVAV) were up 5% by 3:30 p.m. ET, because nothing says “confidence” like a stock price that dances like it’s in a Fred Astaire movie. Investors, it seems, are twirling with delight.
Ferguson’s Q4 revenue swelled 6.9% year-over-year to $8.5 billion, a number that, in the grand scheme of things, is roughly as impressive as a teapot orbiting Saturn. Adjusted earnings per share leapt from $2.98 to $3.48-a 17% increase that would have made a 1920s stockbroker weep with nostalgia. Analysts, those modern-day oracles of spreadsheets, had penciled in earnings near $3.29 on $8.7 billion in revenue. Ferguson’s results, therefore, were a masterclass in statistical sleight of hand: just enough to satisfy, just enough to confuse, and absolutely nothing to write home about-unless your home is a server farm in Nebraska.
