Shares of this esteemed company have commenced the year with an unseemly haste, soaring upwards as if propelled by the very vanity they seek to address. A rise of some twenty-six percent, they boast, whilst the broader market merely ambles along at a respectable, if unremarkable, pace. One wonders, of course, if this is genuine enthusiasm, or merely the collective delusion of investors, ever eager to chase the latest glittering object.
McDonald Capital Investors, they’re called. Sounds terribly sensible. They’ve just splashed out around $24.39 million on 86,891 shares of FactSet Research Systems (FDS +0.62%). Which, let’s be honest, is more than I spend on groceries in a year. Probably more than I earn in a year. It’s all terribly unfair.
The S&P 500 (SNPINDEX: ^GSPC) went down 0.45% to 6,938. Just… down. And the Nasdaq (NASDAQINDEX: ^IXIC) decided to join the pity party, falling 0.94% to 23,462. Honestly, it’s just exhausting. You try to make rational investment decisions, and then this happens. AT&T (T +4.32%) and T-Mobile (TMUS +4.19%) were up. Why? Because… reasons. Wireless growth, apparently. It’s all so arbitrary. They’re all just competing to see who can make the most complicated bill.
This fintech concern, you see, has recently posted a return of 62% – a figure that, while not entirely unprecedented, is certainly not to be sniffed at. One suspects it’s poised for another rather good showing, and one is always partial to a bit of sensible optimism, wouldn’t you agree?
MKS, a company which, while not exactly a household name, quietly produces the sort of instruments and tools that keep the semiconductor industry ticking over – a vital function, you’ll agree – announced the news on Wednesday afternoon. They’ve floated a billion euro issue of senior notes – a substantial sum, naturally – in a private offering, a move that suggests a certain confidence in their future prospects.
The franchise model, you see, is not about building empires, but about shifting responsibility. A clever sleight of hand. They don’t run the stores, they merely collect the tributes. The franchisees bear the weight of brick and mortar, the endless churn of labor, the fluctuating price of poultry. It’s a remarkably elegant arrangement, really. A system designed to maximize returns while minimizing exposure to… reality. They call it scalable. I call it abdication.
They’re paying attention to the wrong things, these poor bastards. They think a dividend is a sign. A beacon of stability in the swirling vortex of tech speculation. Nvidia started doling out pennies in 2012. Pennies! As if a few measly dollars tossed to the masses will somehow justify the current valuation. They want $10,000 a year in payouts? Let’s do the math, shall we? It’ll take over FORTY-SEVEN MILLION dollars to snag 250,000 shares. FORTY-SEVEN MILLION! I need a drink.
Nineteen percent revenue increase, you understand. A rather robust figure, even if one is accustomed to such things. Subscriptions, bless them, are doing nicely, up thirty percent. Annual recurring revenue, a rather useful concept, is also enjoying itself. Licenses, too, are showing a degree of enthusiasm. All perfectly adequate, really. Though, naturally, the City requires constant reassurance.
Precious metals and financial institutions led the retreat, a rather predictable spectacle following the precipitous fall of gold and silver. It seems even the most ardent hoarders are susceptible to a touch of reason – or perhaps merely a change in the prevailing winds. A few retail and consumer staples managed a feeble resistance, with Walmart (+1.47%) and Coca Cola (+1.94%) displaying a stubborn refusal to participate in the general gloom. Microsoft (-0.83%) suffered only a minor wound, a testament to its entrenched position, while Apple (+0.62%) inched upwards, buoyed, no doubt, by the unwavering faith of its devotees – or, more likely, the skillful manipulation of quarterly earnings reports. A mere $259.48, of course, is a pittance for a company that aspires to be more than a purveyor of polished rectangles.
The broader indices, those ponderous beasts, shuffled their feet in a manner most uninspiring. The S&P 500 descended a meager 0.43% to 6,939, while the Nasdaq Composite slipped, like a weary traveler, to 23,462. Microsoft, a name that once evoked visions of boundless innovation, now merely signifies a slightly less steep decline (-0.74% to $430.29). Alphabet, that repository of all human knowledge (and cat videos), fared little better, clinging to existence at $338 (-0.04%). A most dismal spectacle, really. One half expected a troupe of melancholy clowns to wander through the trading floor, lamenting the futility of it all.