Good ol’ Donald Trump (yeah, he’s still around) announced that his Delta Force buddies pulled off a raid near Caracas, grabbed Maduro and his wife, and flew them out like it was a bad Netflix movie. 🎬 The operation was so quick, Maduro probably didn’t even finish his arepa. Meanwhile, Polymarket traders were like, “Cha-ching!” 💸
Nevertheless, the company has been encumbered by certain complications throughout the preceding year, primarily concerning its sales to the Chinese market. The United States, in a rather stringent display of caution, imposed export controls on semiconductor technology destined for that nation, resulting in a staggering billion-dollar charge for Nvidia, reflective of unsold inventory. The astute Jensen Huang, chief of Nvidia, has articulated that the potential of China’s AI chip market could amount to hundreds of billions by decade’s end-a tantalizing opportunity that no prudent chip manufacturer would wish to forgo.
$76 million vanished across 26 incidents-a modest sum for the modern robber barons, but a drop in the ocean compared to November’s feast. The largest heist? A $50 million address-poisoning scam, where hackers played dress-up with wallet addresses like a digital game of “guess the password” (spoiler: it’s “I’m a scammer, duh”).
On the 6-hour chart shared by FLASH, AVAX has cleanly broken above a descending trendline that capped price action throughout December. This trendline had previously acted as dynamic resistance, rejecting multiple upside attempts before sellers lost control. 🕵️♂️📉
A public spectacle where shares are auctioned like produce at the market.
Both contenders seek to offer the modern soul a taste of the reliable-those eternal goods and litanies of everyday needs, never quite vanishing from the earth despite the ceaseless absurdities of the economy’s theater. But beneath this surface, where the dull glow of figures and figures’ figures flicker in the flickering candlelight of fiscal prudence, lies a labyrinth of considerations-cost, performance, and the perilous risk of collapse, much like the precarious balance of a drunken father balancing on a rickety chair while trying to recite the alphabet.
THEY BOTH PLAY THE DIVIDEND GAME, BUT ONE’S A CLOWN CAR AND THE OTHER’S A ROCKET SCIENCE LAB. THIS ISN’T JUST A RACE TO THE BANK-IT’S A WAR OF TRENDS, FEES, AND THE SILENT SCREAM OF MARKET HEDGES. LET’S DIVE IN, YOU LUNATICS.
Harpreet S. Dhaliwal, Chief Technical Ops Officer of Vaxcyte (PCVX +0.69%), recently orchestrated a transaction worthy of a stock market ballet-disposing of 9,743 shares in a maneuver that netted approximately $454,891, as documented in the sacred scrolls of SEC Form 4.
Here’s the tea: Splits are less “get rich quick” and more “here’s a magnifying glass so you can squint at the same amount of money.” But hey, if you’re dying to know which companies might hand out free paper cuts in 2026, I’ve got a list. Just don’t mistake this for a treasure map.
Meanwhile, the crypto market’s “resurgence” continues like a toddler on a sugar rush. Bitcoin (BTC) is flirting with $90k, up 1%, because apparently, $89,440 wasn’t dramatic enough. Ethereum (ETH), Ripple (XRP), Solana (SOL), and the entire cast of crypto tokens are trading in “positive territory”-a term we’ll define as “not down 90% today.” 🚀