Bittensor: Seriously?

So, this Bittensor thing. (TAO 2.22%). It went up, okay? Nearly 18% over the long weekend. A long weekend, mind you. Like anyone actually disconnects these days? The market never sleeps, they say. It’s a market. Of course it doesn’t sleep. It’s just…rude. And this surge? Supposedly it’s tied to this whole blockchain-AI thing. Blockchain and AI? It’s like they just threw buzzwords at a dartboard. I mean, really.

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It’s been going up for a week, apparently. A week! Like that makes it…stable? I saw a chart. A chart. They always look so…optimistic. It’s like they’re deliberately trying to mislead you. And everyone’s analyzing it. Assessing the “momentum.” The momentum. As if crypto has any actual momentum beyond sheer, unadulterated speculation.

They’re saying it’s about “catalysts.” “Token-specific catalysts.” What does that even mean? It’s a token. It exists in the digital ether. And the biggest catalyst, apparently, is that people think it’s a good indicator of interest in blockchain AI. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy, isn’t it? They decide it’s important, and then it becomes important. It’s infuriating.

And the analysts. Oh, the analysts. “Bullish theses.” “Valuation expansion.” They’re speaking a different language. A language designed to confuse and impress. They’re saying it has “strong underlying tailwinds.” Tailwinds? For a digital token? What, is the wind blowing through the internet cables now? I happen to agree, though. It’s a good way to lose money.

But here’s the kicker. They’re excited about subnet usage being up 34%. 34%! Like that’s some kind of meaningful metric. It’s like saying my coffee consumption is up 20% this week. So what? It means I’m more caffeinated and slightly more annoyed. They’re saying it suggests a “fundamental story.” A fundamental story! It’s a token. It doesn’t have a story. It just…is. If it keeps growing and brings on “partners and users” – which sounds like some sort of crypto pyramid scheme – then maybe, just maybe, it’ll be worth buying on the dip. Which is, of course, exactly what everyone else is thinking. And that’s why it’ll probably crash. It’s just… obvious.

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2026-02-18 00:53