Right. So, Monday. The markets. It was… a day. Transocean (RIG +5.57%), the offshore drilling people, announced they’re acquiring Valaris. Which, honestly, sounds terribly complicated. And expensive. I mean, $5.8 billion? That’s a lot of rig maintenance. The stock went up, naturally. It always does when something big and potentially terrifying happens. It closed at $5.71, up 5.94%. Trading volume was… enthusiastic. 179 million shares. Which, if I’m calculating correctly (and let’s be honest, I usually need help with percentages), is a lot. About 391% above average. I’m starting to think everyone is just trading to avoid making eye contact with reality. It’s a coping mechanism, probably.
Transocean’s been around since 1993. Which is… a long time in the stock market. Apparently, it’s down 48% since its IPO. That’s… sobering. It makes you wonder if anyone actually knows what they’re doing. Me included, obviously.
How the Markets Moved Today
The S&P 500 went up 0.45% to 6,963. The Nasdaq Composite managed a 0.90% gain, closing at 23,239. Good for them. Within the oil & gas drilling sector, Noble closed at $41.86 (+6.79%) and Seadrill finished at $41.18 (+3.21%). Everyone seems to be getting a little boost. It’s all very… cyclical. Like my moods, really. One minute I’m cautiously optimistic, the next I’m convinced the entire global economy is about to collapse.
What This Means for Investors (and Me)
So, Transocean is buying Valaris. In an all-stock deal. Which sounds… complicated. Apparently, it’s going to give them a much bigger fleet. They’ll have 33 drillships (up from 20) and 9 semi-submersibles (up from 7). And, crucially, 31 jackups. They didn’t have any jackups before. I don’t even know what a jackup is, but apparently, it’s important. It gives them exposure to shallow water. Which, I assume, is a good thing.
Lists are helpful. I’m making a list of things I don’t understand about offshore drilling. It’s quite long.
- Jackups.
- Semi-submersibles.
- The actual logistics of drilling.
- Why anyone would invest in this in the first place. (Just kidding. Sort of.)
Apparently, this diversification is good. And they’re expecting $200 million in synergies. Synergies. It’s always about synergies, isn’t it? Investors will be watching to see if they actually materialize. Combined, the companies are worth roughly $17 billion, have EBITDA of $2 billion, and a backlog of $10 billion. Which sounds… impressive. If you understand those numbers. I’m mostly just trying not to panic.
Units of Cryptocurrency Lost: 12. Hours Spent Watching Charts: 9. Number of Panicked Texts to Friends: 24. I really need a vacation.
Read More
- 21 Movies Filmed in Real Abandoned Locations
- 2025 Crypto Wallets: Secure, Smart, and Surprisingly Simple!
- The 11 Elden Ring: Nightreign DLC features that would surprise and delight the biggest FromSoftware fans
- 10 Hulu Originals You’re Missing Out On
- The 10 Most Beautiful Women in the World for 2026, According to the Golden Ratio
- 39th Developer Notes: 2.5th Anniversary Update
- 17 Black Voice Actors Who Saved Games With One Line Delivery
- Rewriting the Future: Removing Unwanted Knowledge from AI Models
- Bitcoin’s Ballet: Will the Bull Pirouette or Stumble? 💃🐂
- PLURIBUS’ Best Moments Are Also Its Smallest
2026-02-10 02:22