Copilot and the Usual Human Fuss

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Microsoft, bless their hearts, finally told us how many people are paying for Copilot. Fifteen million, they said. A number. So it goes. It’s an artificial intelligence, you see, a chatbot designed to make things…easier. As if ease is ever the point. They want you to believe it’s a revolution. They always do.

What It Is, More or Less

Copilot, in Microsoft’s own words, is an assistant. It writes things for you, analyzes data, summarizes emails. Basically, it does the things people used to do to feel useful. It’s a digital helper, a ghost in the machine. They offer different plans, naturally. A free version, a slightly less expensive version, a version for those who really want to feel important. They’ll sell you anything, given the chance.

There’s a Copilot Studio, too, where you can build your own little digital servants. It’s all very modern. Very efficient. Very…sad, if you think about it. But who does that?

The Numbers Game

Fifteen million paying customers. That’s up 160% from last year. A big number, on paper. But consider this: Microsoft has 450 million Microsoft 365 subscribers. That means only about 3.3% of them are actually paying for Copilot. It’s like throwing a party for a million people and having thirty-three show up. So it goes.

They also have GitHub Copilot, for the coders. 4.7 million subscribers there, up 75%. That’s about 3.1% of GitHub’s 150 million registered developers. The math is consistent, you’ll notice. People mostly stick to what they know, or what they’re told to do.

Fiserv, ING, a couple of universities, even the U.S. Department of the Interior are using it. Big organizations. Lots of seats. It’s reassuring, in a way. Someone is always buying something.

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They say conversations per user have doubled, daily active users are up tenfold. They’ve even partnered with PayPal, Shopify, Stripe so you can buy things directly from the bot. Progress, they call it. It feels more like a trap.

The Usual Suspects

Analysts at UBS are scratching their heads. They want to see “proof” that these investments are paying off. They want growth. They always want growth. As if more is ever enough. So it goes.

The average person, if you can find one, probably knows about ChatGPT. Copilot? Not so much. It’s a marketing problem, of course. Or maybe it’s a deeper problem. Maybe people are starting to realize that a chatbot can’t fix what’s broken inside.

Microsoft will likely do okay. They always do. They have Azure, cloud services, a near-infinite capacity for reinvention. But Copilot, right now? It feels like a distraction. A shiny object designed to keep us from noticing the emptiness. It’s just another tool, and tools, as any good historian will tell you, are often used for things we later regret.

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2026-02-10 01:52