So, FedEx. Up 13% this week. Thirteen percent! It’s… irritating. Not because I’m thrilled about gains, mind you, but the way it’s happening. Everyone’s rotating out of tech? Into industrial? Like, suddenly we’re all building things with our hands? It’s a phase. A ridiculous phase. And now this stock is getting all the attention? It’s just… illogical.
Year to date, it’s up 26%. Twenty-six! Double the Dow Jones Transportation Index. The Dow! What is the Dow even for anymore? It’s like a relic. And people are actually paying attention to it? I swear, the market is just a bunch of lemmings following the shiniest object. And this week, apparently, the shiny object is a company that delivers packages. Groundbreaking.
The Analyst Thing
UBS analyst Thomas Wadewitz. Of course. He upgraded the stock. Boosted the price target from $314 to $412. A 30% boost! It’s all so…performative. Like he’s trying to justify his existence by assigning arbitrary numbers to a shipping company. And now everyone’s jumping on the bandwagon? Another 12% upside potential, they say. Based on what? Hope? Wishful thinking? It’s a house of cards, I tell you.
They’re having an Investor Day next week, February 12th. A multi-year plan. Oh, joy. More presentations. More promises. They’re going to talk about margins and cost reductions and “sustainable revenue growth.” It’s the same song and dance. And the investors will nod and take notes and pretend to understand what’s going on. It’s exhausting. I’m anticipating a lot of jargon. A lot. And it’ll all be meaningless. They’ll try to spin it like they’ve figured something out, like they’ve unlocked the secret to package delivery. Please.
So, everyone’s getting ahead of it, huh? Buying now, before the big reveal? It’s just… predictable. It’s like they’re all in on the joke. And I’m stuck here, analyzing it, pointing out the absurdity. It’s a thankless job, really. But somebody has to do it. And honestly, I’m starting to think the real upside here isn’t financial. It’s the schadenfreude when this whole thing inevitably collapses. That’s where the real value lies.
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2026-02-06 19:42