So, get this-the crypto market decided to go up. Why? Because the U.S. and China maybe sort of agreed on something trade-related. 🎉 Officials called the talks “successful,” which, in diplomatic terms, means nobody stormed out. Crypto market cap? Oh, just casually $3.83 trillion now-up a whopping 1.77% in 24 hours. Hold your applause.
The “breakthrough” happened during Trump’s second-term Asian tour (yes, he got a second term-don’t ask). He signed some papers with Malaysia, waved at Thailand and Cambodia making peace, and China graciously delayed rare earth export controls. Because, you know, nothing says “trustworthy trade partner” like “we’ll hold off on screwing you over… for a year.” Meanwhile, Trump’s 100% tariff threat? Poof! Gone. Maybe. Probably not. Who knows?
U.S. President Trump has begun his first Asian tour of his second term, with the US and China reaching a trade framework ahead of the Trump-Xi meeting. Trump signed a trade deal and a critical minerals pact with Malaysia, while also overseeing a peace declaration between Thailand…
– Wu Blockchain (@WuBlockchain) October 26, 2025
Economists claim this “eases global supply chain risks.” Sure, Jan. Because nothing says “stable supply chain” like two superpowers playing chicken with tariffs. But hey, markets love uncertainty-as long as it’s wrapped in a vague press release.
Bitcoin: Still Here, Still Confusing
Bitcoin’s chilling at $113,367-up a thrilling 1.59%. Volume? A measly $23 billion. Analysts say it’s “typical” before the FOMC meeting. Translation: traders are too busy pretending to understand macroeconomics to actually trade.
Despite the weekend lull, Bitcoin’s still above “key support levels.” Whatever that means. It’s reclaimed its “value area low from July,” which sounds impressive until you realize nobody knows what that actually predicts. Analysts expect a dip below $110K before a run to $114K-or $116K-$117K if “momentum stays intact.” So, basically: “It might go up or down. You’re welcome.”
Ethereum? Up to $4,049. XRP? Pumped 11% this week to $2.64-because why not? BNB ($1,134), Solana ($197.70), Cardano ($0.67), and Dogecoin ($0.20) also joined the party. Because when global trade tensions ease, memecoins obviously rally. Makes perfect sense. 🙄
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2025-10-26 15:22