In the fevered dreams of Wall Street’s architects, where the alchemy of innovation and greed collides, humanity has long sought salvation through the next great invention. In our time, this savior wears the mask of artificial intelligence-a siren song luring investors into the abyss of infinite valuations. Yet even as AI ascends, another specter haunts the markets: the stock split, that paradoxical rite of passage for empires both crumbling and triumphant.
A stock split, that banal yet sacred ritual, is a mirror held to the soul of a corporation. To reverse it is to confess weakness, a desperate grasp at dignity as delisting looms. To forward-split is to embrace the crowd, to democratize access to one’s glory, however illusory. It is a confession of faith in the future, a wager that the masses will follow, even if the path is paved with hubris.
The Market’s Passion Play
Three titans have already danced with the split in 2025, but the year hungers for a true protagonist-one who can bear the weight of its collective yearning. The Magnificent Seven, those modern-day Promethei, may yet answer the call. For in their heights lies the tragedy: to split is to acknowledge that even gods must kneel before the altar of accessibility.
Two Candidates for Redemption
The Mag-7, those seven titanic phantoms of the stock exchange, have built empires on the backs of innovation and advertising. Yet their share prices, like Goliath’s sword, loom as barriers to the common man. Meta and Microsoft, both burdened by nominal heights, stand at the crossroads of hubris and humility. Will they split to redeem themselves in the eyes of the retail faithful, or cling to their gilded isolation?
- Nvidia (NVDA)
- Microsoft (MSFT)
- Apple (AAPL)
- Alphabet (GOOGL) (GOOG)
- Amazon (AMZN)
- Meta Platforms (META)
- Tesla (TSLA)
Consider Meta: its $800 shares are a crucible for the unwashed masses. Yet its user base, a digital Babylon of 3.48 billion souls, whispers of divine power. Can it afford to split, to dilute its mystique? Or does its AI-driven metaverse, that promised land of virtual salvation, demand a higher price? The board’s choice is not merely financial-it is theological.
Meta Platforms: The Unsplit Virgin
Meta, that social-media siren, has never known the touch of a split. Its 27% retail ownership is a plea for absolution, a cry that the masses must be let in. Yet the company’s cash hoard-$47 billion in reserves-is a sin of its own, a temptation to squander on metaverse castles in the sky. Will it choose the narrow path of accessibility, or drown in its own ambition?
Meta’s AI investments, like Icarus’s wings, promise flight but threaten to scorch. The metaverse, that promised land, is a Sisyphean task. And yet, the board must ask: is a split a betrayal of its vision, or a necessary penance for the sins of exclusivity?
Microsoft: The Reluctant Heir
Microsoft, that old titan with nine past splits etched into its history, now sits at $500 per share. Its legacy divisions-Windows, Office-are relics of a bygone age, yet they fund the AI and cloud wars. To split now is to acknowledge that even the second-largest company on Earth must bow to the masses. But can it? The last split was in 2003, a time when Bill Gates still whispered to the stars.
Microsoft’s capital-return program is a double-edged sword: $24 billion in dividends, $18 billion in buybacks. Is this a sign of strength, or a distraction from the existential crisis of a $500 share price? The board must choose between the solace of past glories and the uncertain promise of the future. For in the market’s eyes, a split is not just a transaction-it is a declaration of faith.
And so we await, like prisoners in Dostoevsky’s tale, the moment when Meta and Microsoft will either descend from their pedestals or cling to their pride. The year 2025 holds its breath, for in the stock split lies the soul of capitalism itself: a dance between the sublime and the absurd. 📈
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2025-08-18 10:52