Ah, the crypto market, ever the enthusiastic climber, scaling new heights with the grace of a gazelle on a trapeze, courtesy of CoinStats. One must commend its audacity-or perhaps its delusion.

ETH/USD
The price of Ethereum (ETH), that most fashionable of cryptocurrencies, has risen by 4.74% over the last 24 hours. A modest increase, one might say, for a coin with such grand delusions of grandeur. 🎩✨

On the hourly chart, the rate of ETH is going down after a false breakout of the local resistance of $4,712. A charade, really. The market’s latest jest is to tease traders with a phantom rally before sending prices tumbling like a Victorian lady fainting at the sight of a stock tip. 🤡
If the decline continues, there is a high chance of seeing a test of the support by tomorrow. One must wonder if the support level may soon be paying a visit, much like an unwelcome in-law. 🙄

On the longer time frame, one should focus on the daily bar closure in terms of yesterday’s bar peak. If the bar closes with a long wick and below $4,639, bears may seize the initiative, which may lead to a drop to the $4,300 zone. A veritable financial Versailles of mediocrity, where even the pigeons scoff at your portfolio. 🏰🕊️

From the midterm point of view, there are no reversal signals yet. If the weekly candle closes around current prices, traders may expect a test of the vital $5,000 area by the end of the month. A “vital” area, indeed, if one considers “vital” a euphemism for “perilously close to a cliff’s edge.” ⛰️
Ethereum is trading at $4,656 at press time. A figure so precarious it makes a house of cards seem stable. At present, Ethereum resides at $4,656, a figure that is, of course, entirely arbitrary and subject to change with the whims of the market-or perhaps the roll of a cosmic dice. 🎲
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2025-08-13 23:26