In a tale most wondrous, the DOJ hath snatched from the clutches of Hamas a treasure trove of cryptocurrency, valued at over $200,000! 🎩
Oh, the cunning of these digital highwaymen! They didst attempt to cleanse their ill-gotten gains through a labyrinth of virtual exchanges and shadowy brokers. Yet, the long arm of justice hath caught them in their sly game. 🕵️♂️
The said funds, now ensnared in a veritable nest of at least 17 wallets, await their fate. What sayeth the king’s court? Shall they be melted down like so much digital gold? 🪙
In the year of our Lord, 2024, the US Treasury, in league with the noble houses of the United Kingdom and Australia, didst lay down the law against the crypto cronies of Hamas. 🛡️
And lo, the families of those struck by the hand of Hamas didst seek justice against Binance and its former ruler, Changpeng Zhao, claiming they didst aid the terrorists with a helping hand. 🙅♂️
Binance, under the watchful eye of the king’s men, hath settled its differences with the DOJ for a sum most grand: $4.3 billion! 🤑
More Chains for the Crypto Beasts?
The wise men of the Congressional Research Service have spoken: Hamas hath been seeking crypto gold since the year of our Lord, 2019. But how effective hath their beggary been? It is a mystery wrapped in an enigma. 🧐
As terrorist scoundrels turn to crypto for their dirty deeds, the question arises: Shall we chain this digital beast with more laws and rules? 🐉
Chainalysis, in its infinite wisdom, hath decreed that terrorism’s cut of the crypto pie is but a sliver. Yet, the traditional ways of funding mischief remain ever popular. 🥧
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2025-03-28 02:08