The U.S. House set the stage for a crypto drama no one asked for today, starring—drumroll—Representative Maxine Waters and her entourage, who made a swift, theatrical exit. 👋 Forget Succession; this was “American Innovation and the Future of Digital Assets: A Blueprint for the 21st Century”—a title so serious you already know trouble’s coming.
Our plot twist? The big walkout hits *right* as the House Financial Services and Agriculture Committees are about to reimagine the laws for digital coins and, presumably, plot new ways to confuse your grandparents. Instead, Waters hits pause: “Let’s talk about the elephant in the blockchain—Donald Trump and his new side hustle: TRUMP coin.” Apparently, she wants this hearing to come with a free investigation.
She’s so opposed to the idea of Trump or, heaven forbid, one of his children with a Ledger wallet, that she declared she wouldn’t touch any crypto bill unless it explicitly blocks him from cashing in. (“If there is no effort to block the President of the United States of America from owning his stablecoin business, I will never be able to agree on supporting this bill”—which is the political way of saying, “no way in hell.”)
Snubbed and unbothered, Waters & Co. crash their own counter-programming with a “shadow hearing,” accusing Trump of planning to become the first billionaire meme-coiner in the Oval Office. Republicans, along with some crypto-curious Democrats, keep the main event rolling, because someone’s gotta say “blockchain” seriously for four hours a day.
Now, the once-unbreakable pro-crypto alliance shows cracks. Remember the GENIUS Act? It sailed through committee with some bipartisan kumbaya. But at this point, even Senators Ruben Gallego and Mark Warner are giving it the side-eye. Congressional group chat: “Still a hot mess, Bob. Might crash the economy. Also, not sure I trust anyone named Satoshi anymore. 🧐”
If you’re having trouble following all this, don’t worry. So is Congress.
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2025-05-06 21:07