You Won’t Believe Why Bitcoin Is Expensive Even When No One’s Using It! 🤯💸

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Traditionally, when the Bitcoin blockchain was buzzing like a beehive in a jam jar, you could bet your last cucumber sandwich that the price would be climbing as well. Activity up, price up—a sort of neat little dance, absolutely spiffing for those keeping score. But dash it all, the largest cryptocurrency seems to be thumbing its nose at this rules-and-regulations approach. Bitcoin, one suspects, has been reading too much Oscar Wilde and refuses to be predictable.

Take this, for example: BTC is sitting pretty above $95,000, brushing off lackluster blockchain activity like Jeeves brushing lint off a dinner jacket. It’s even giving the $100,000 mark that sly look that says, “Oh, I’ll get there when I feel like it.” No one seems to be actually using the blasted thing, but by Jove, that hasn’t put so much as a wrinkle in its price.

Bitcoin: Now Unmoved by Mere Facts

According to those analytical chaps at Alphractal (no, not a Hogwarts House), the Bitcoin price has decided it can get along just fine without masses of people jostling for transactions or active addresses jostling for elbow room. Their findings, posted on that X place (not to be confused with the spot where buried treasure is located), explain why this digital sovereign has become so haughtily indifferent to its own network hustle and bustle.

For starters, the grand market transformation took place when the US gave the approving nod to spot ETFs back in January 2024. Suddenly, everyone and their great-aunt could pile cash into Bitcoin through these newfangled financial contraptions, no “blockchain activity” needed. The price was no longer powered by grubby on-chain mechanics, but rather by cool, clean investment inflows—much like Downton Abbey, but with fewer hats and more decimal points.

The analytics folk also mention that Bitcoin’s notorious market mood swings have calmed down to the point where the excitement level is somewhere between “Royal Ascot on a rainy Monday” and “watching paint dry.” With volatility doing its best impersonation of a napping cat, traders simply aren’t stirred to leap into action, which dials down the on-chain razzmatazz.

On top of that, the wild speculation usually reserved for horse racing has found a home in derivatives and other sophisticated gadgets. Bitcoin’s price has gone downright aristocratic, being propped up by the daring deeds of financial speculators who wouldn’t recognize the Bitcoin network if it appeared as the guest of honor at their club. Everyday folks just aren’t queueing up to move coins about, making the network resemble a dance hall after closing time.

Don’t forget the economic fog that’s settled over global markets recently. Apparently, most investors are holding tightly onto their wallets, peering into the mist and waiting for the next bullish signal like nervous uncles at a wedding buffet, unsure if the vol-au-vents are safe.

Last but certainly not least, there’s the old trick of inflating exchange volumes—a little sleight of hand that leaves the rest of us wondering if anything is real and if perhaps we ourselves are just numbers on a ticker somewhere. “Some exchange volume may be inflated, creating a misleading sense of activity while real network usage stays modest,” say the wise men at Alphractal, tongue firmly in cheek and eyebrow arched high enough to qualify for orbit.

Bitcoin Price: Still Smug

At this precise moment (glance at your gold pocket watch, if you please), Bitcoin is enjoying the view from $96,150, down just a tad over the last 24 hours—a mere one percent, as if to say, “Oh, I’m simply resting my eyes.” Despite a weekend so choppy it could give the English Channel an inferiority complex, Bitcoin is still up almost two percent for the week, chortling merrily away while the rest of us look for a lifeboat.

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2025-05-05 00:44