You Won’t Believe What This Company Just Did With €12.1M And Bitcoin 🤯

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It was with a peculiar mix of anxiety and grim astonishment that the public learned of The Blockchain Group’s latest enterprise: issuing €12.1 million in convertible bonds—because, naturally, there is nothing like shackling oneself to the unfathomable seas of financial innovation to spark one’s soul on a drizzly Tuesday in Europe.

Let us not be naïve, dear reader. With a dream Dostoevskyan in scope but perhaps with less vodka and more ledger, the firm—self-styled as Europe’s first publicly listed Bitcoin Treasury Company—marches forth, determined to bolster its treasure-hoard not with gold coins, but with the capricious digital spawn known as Bitcoin. Whose idea was this? The Board? A fever dream brought on by too much borscht?

It was not by magic but by bureaucratic sorcery (through their wholly owned Luxembourg subsidiary—because of course, Luxembourg) that the shares, valiant at €0.707 apiece, would be flung into the market without a whiff of preferential treatment for the masses. It’s democratic, if your definition of “democratic” involves zero preference and a heavy helping of inscrutability.

One might inquire: who dared to seize these subscription rights for Convertible Bonds B-02 (OCA Tranche 2)? Enter Adam Back: strategic investor, alleged possessor of mysterious wisdom, and now, repeat player after his vaunted plunge into Tranche 1 this past March. The anticipation must have weighed on him as the existential angst of Raskolnikov did before he found his way to Siberia.

But wait! The plot thickens—the bonds come with a conversion premium of nearly 30% over their cranky cousin, the B-01 tranche. All this, so that The Blockchain Group’s reserves of Bitcoin swell ever more menacingly, while operations in data intelligence, AI, and the wonderful world of decentralized consulting continue with all the logic of a Dostoevsky novel’s family quarrel. (There’s always at least three subplots you didn’t see coming.)

April 30, 2025: this date, much like any other, witnessed a PowerPoint presentation, or so we are told. The company’s grand Bitcoin accumulation strategy—boosting BTC per share and, presumably, bewilderment per shareholder—was unfurled before the world. The document, no doubt, is still resting quietly on their website, waiting to be read by precisely nobody.

Now, as the tired titans of traditional finance dabble in crypto (because, when in Rome…), The Blockchain Group’s latest maneuver is less a sign and more a symptom: Bitcoin is clawing at the gilded doors of European corporate treasuries. The future has arrived. It brought memes and convertible bonds. Pray for us all. 🤦‍♂️

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2025-05-13 08:04