You Won’t Believe What Tether’s New AI Does Without the Cloud (Or Your Permission)

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In a cosmic corner of the universe, presumably right next to where missing socks and half of the world’s biros go, Tether has beamed down its latest brainchild: QVAC. (That’s “QuantumVerse Automatic Computer,” for beings who care about syllables and, apparently, quantum stuff 🛸).

Now, QVAC isn’t just any AI—it’s what Tether rather egotistically calls a gateway to “Infinite Intelligence.” Yes, infinite. As if the universe wasn’t complicated enough already. With QVAC, AI tools will scuttle around on your own device, which means you can finally stop sending private data to some giant, faceless server farm where it’s probably being used to train sentient toasters.

No more cloud dependency, Tether insists. Your AI will run right there on your phone, laptop, or—should your ambition and neural connections allow—directly in your brain. Because who hasn’t wanted an existential debate with an AI in the shower? 🧠

Tether’s esteemed CEO, Paolo Ardoino, threw shade at conventional APIs: “If you need an API key to use your AI, it isn’t truly yours.” The kind of thing you might doodle on a napkin after being locked out of your own smart fridge.

The QVAC system is modular, which means you can mix and match its little bits like intergalactic Lego. It also lets gadgets talk directly to each other, peer-to-peer, like a bunch of suspiciously clever hamsters plotting escape, all blissfully unchaperoned by big tech grownups.

Apparently, QVAC is robust enough to handle trillions—yes, trillions—of AI agents without collapsing into a digital black hole. And naturally, these agents can send and receive micropayments using Bitcoin and USDt. Soon, your smart toaster may owe you lunch money 🍞.

The first wave of wondrously private apps is inbound! There’s QVAC/Translate for translating from Human to Martian (and possibly Klingon) right on your device, and QVAC/Health—a fitness tracker that swears never to gossip about your cholesterol.

Developers are, for once, not left weeping in a dark room. An open-source SDK is on the way, so you’ll soon be able to create your own galaxy of QVAC mishaps and run them wildly across your devices.

At last, Tether claims, users claim control over their AI destiny instead of grovelling before central servers. As Ardoino hints, the only permission you’ll need is a willingness to embrace “Infinite Intelligence.” Or at least, infinite patch notes. 🚀

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2025-05-14 20:58