You Won’t Believe What Gemini Said About the CFTC—Crypto Drama Hits New Highs! 😱💼

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Dash me buttons! The ever-dashing chaps at Gemini have lobbed quite the brick at the formidable desks of the CFTC, accusing the staff of engaging in what can only be described as a rollicking game of “who can bash the most crypto exchanges,” all under the guise of that rather weighty tome, the Commodity Exchange Act (CEA). Apparently, this saga has been unsportingly dragging on for over seven years. If perseverance were a medal event, both parties would have the mantel groaning.

Inside the Regulatory Boudoir: Gemini Throws Down the Gauntlet

Only last week, the bally fellows at Gemini Trust sent one of those delightfully stern letters to Inspector General Christopher Skinner of the Commodity Futures Trading Commission—a chap, one assumes, who’s no stranger to a strongly worded missive. Their complaint? That the agency’s Division of Enforcement (DOE), those hawk-eyed sticklers, have been on a single-minded mission of pinning false statements to Gemini like they’re collecting marbles in the playground, all while trampling over the delicate petals of due process.

Back in the heady days of 2022, the CFTC dragged Gemini before the regulatory beak, declaring with some gusto that the exchange had spun a few fairy tales about thwarting Bitcoin (BTC) price manipulation. The CFTC, quite convinced it had found a plot twist worthy of an Agatha Christie novel, said Gemini had bamboozled them during talks about a BTC futures contract.

Leap forward to January 2025, and Gemini agrees to fork over $5 mil to the CFTC—not as an admission of villainy, mind you! Their letter rather snippily notes they simply “had no other choice,” presumably all other options involving more legal pain than a bad case of gout.

From Gemini’s perspective, the staff’s conduct resembles more of a peacock’s dance than an exercise in regulatory diligence. They allege the purpose was far less about defending the noble realm of commodities, and far more about fattening the file marked “Career Accolades” for certain DOE staffers. In short, it’s suggested that personal glory was the order of the day—a regulatory cosplay, if you will. 🏆🥳

Oh, and the plot thickens! Gemini claims the DOE brushed aside the inconvenient tidbit that Gemini itself had been played for a sucker by a den of rogue operators. Worse still, much of this whole theatrical affair traces back to what they call a “lie-riddled whistleblower submission”—brought forth by none other than the erstwhile CPO Benjamin Small, apparently miffed after being shown the door and, like any seasoned ex-employee, embarking on a “vindictive campaign.”

Back to Basics, With Less Shenanigans?

Gemini, never one to mince words, asserts there’s something decidedly pongy about the DOE’s culture—“toxic,” they say, with a whiff of chaos in the regulatory air. All eyes now turn to CFTC acting chair Caroline Pham, who’s been rather vocal about taking the agency out of its “regulation by enforcement” phase—a period which, by all accounts, made crypto feel about as welcome as a wasp at a picnic.

According to Ms. Pham, gone are the days when laws are twisted into balloon animals solely to harpoon newfangled tech. The agency, she insists, will get back to nabbing true fraudsters—the types who abscond with monocle and top hat—rather than pummelling every new asset class that wanders onto the scene.

That said, Pham is quick to assure everyone that regulations won’t devolve into a gentle yoga retreat. Gemini’s letter offers to help the agency with its grand makeover—the sort that takes introspection, time, and quite possibly a stiff drink.🍸 Their aim? To ensure this distant cousin of a Shakespearean farce never darkens CFTC’s door again.

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2025-06-18 12:44