You Won’t Believe What Anchorage Did With Mountain Protocol! Stablecoins in Turmoil 🤯

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It was a dreary, nondescript afternoon—just the kind that makes one ponder why anyone bothers with finance at all—when Anchorage Digital, a so-called “crypto bank” in the grand manner of titanic institutions run from broom closets, suddenly swallowed Mountain Protocol. Yes, the very same Mountain Protocol, authors of the famed but now terminally ill stablecoin, Mountain USD (USDM). Is there no end to financial appetite?

News of the acquisition, contingent (of course) on that enigmatic ghost called “regulatory approval,” was released via statement so dry it could be used to mop up a liquidity crisis. The absorbed team, their technology, and—most crucial, as always—their licenses, will soon become part of Anchorage’s own cryptic contributions to modern civilization.

Terms of the deal? Naturally, a mystery—perhaps written in lemon juice on the underside of a wallet address, or concealed behind the eternal smile of a venture capitalist. Suffice to say, such acquisitions have become so common lately, one wonders if there will be any crypto left to acquire except the dust on forgotten hard drives.

Asked to explain all this, Anchorage’s CEO, Nathan McCauley, with the seriousness of a man lecturing a terrier about bond yields, declared stablecoins to be the “backbone of the crypto economy.” He apparently foresees a future where no business operates without stablecoins—presumably, even the corner noodle stall, if it survives the coming Digital Renaissance.

Mountain Protocol CEO, Martin Carrica, insisted (with the calm of one who has already liquidated his assets) that together, their combined strengths would surely satisfy humanity’s insatiable need for stablecoins. One can only imagine the dinner parties.

Anchorage holds the singular distinction of being the only federally chartered digital asset bank in America—a title to make even the most jaded regulator sit up and reach for their antacids. Mountain Protocol, meanwhile, has enjoyed the supervision of Bermuda’s monetary sages. Should one feel reassured? Perhaps.

This maneuver comes not long after Anchorage tried to spice up institutional finance by rewarding those who hold PayPal USD (PYUSD)—because nothing says “exciting investment opportunity” quite like a rewards program in a bear market.

Mountain Protocol’s USDM: The Last Waltz

With all of the ceremony of a retiring bureaucrat, Mountain Protocol has announced USDM’s “orderly wind-down.” This yield-bearing stablecoin will not go gently into that good night, but rather shuffle off with polite notifications and absolutely no sudden movements.

The stablecoin stopped minting new tokens on May 12, but USDM holders can dry their tears with rewards for an additional 30 days, at which point the rate will stoically become 0% APY. Oh, the heartbreak of shrinking passive income!

Redemption? It’s the buzzword of our times. Customers are invited to redeem USDM on the firm’s platform, while others must swap their tokens elsewhere—perhaps accompanied by a faint sigh or nostalgic tear.

A word of warning to the easily confused: this USDM is not the one that frolics on the Cardano network (that’s Mehen Finance, a rival in the arcane taxonomies of stablecoins).

USDM, you’ll recall, had its five minutes of glory after arriving in late 2023—vaulting to a $155 million market cap faster than you could say “irrational exuberance.” Now, alas, it confronts a reality below $50 million. Sic transit gloria mundi—or, as they say in the industry, “number go down.”

There remain, if anyone cares to count, about 10,820 holders—roughly the size of a medium-sized village, or a large group chat. Take heart, for every collapse is an opportunity. At the very least, there will be plenty of company at the next tech conference’s free coffee line.

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2025-05-13 05:03