Hold on to your hats (and maybe your calculators), because mining a single, sparkly Bitcoin just became pricier than a golden goose at auction—up, up, and away above $70,000 in the second quarter! Our poor miners are sweating buckets, dodging surging network hashrates and energy bills that’d make your granny faint.
According to the jolly bean-counters at TheMinerMag, the cost to conjure up one Bitcoin (a BTC, for the seriously hip crowd) wasn’t content at $52,000 last quarter—oh no! Up it climbed to $64,000 in early 2025 and now, with a hop, skip, and a ghastly leap, it’s on track to leapfrog 9% higher yet this quarter. Ta-da! 🎩🐇
“Direct production costs are expected to soar past $70,000 this quarter,” squeaked TheMinerMag in its latest mayhem-filled update.
Breathing Room (But Not For Long!)
As Bitcoin itself struts about at $107,635 (smug as a cat who got the cream), even the slowest-witted miner has a little money left over—so long as they ignore things like their machines turning into expensive paperweights and the mysterious “phantom” coins from rented-out rigs. Details, details.
Fleet Hashcost Madness
With production costs ballooning, public companies are scrambling to tidy up their operations just as Ms. Trunchbull would tidy up a Miss Honey classroom—that is, with a stick! The main game: keep those pesky hashcosts as low as a limbo stick.
Median fleet hashcost: $34 per petahash per second (PH/s). Not too ghastly! But wait—here come Terawulf and Bitdeer, their costs leaping over 25% (somebody fetch a cold towel). Terawulf blames the villainous energy prices—$0.081/kWh, nearly twice last year’s paltry fare—making you wish you’d gone into windmills instead! 💨
Stock Market Willy Wonka Ride!
Meanwhile, Bitcoin mining stocks are behaving like children in a sweet shop—some grabbing all the goodies (hello, IREN at +21%), while others trip over the licorice ropes and tumble into the fudge river (alas, poor Canaan and Bitfarms, each down more than 21%—ouchy!).
The spread between the candy kings and the sour no-hopers is growing wider by the day, as investors become obsessed with finding miners who can juggle more than just Bitcoin. Diversify or get gobbled up, that’s the motto!
Some miners, not content with just shoveling digital coal, have ventured into AI hosting and high-performance computing (sounds frightfully clever), all in the hope of finding golden tickets somewhere besides the Bitcoin chocolate bar. Let’s wish them luck—and maybe send snacks. 🍭🚀
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2025-06-17 05:15