You Will Not Believe What Tether Bought—Fortune, Follies & Bitcoin Galore! 😲💸

by

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a venture in possession of a handsome fortune, must be in want of some Bitcoin. Thus we find Tether, in a display of financial ardour that would make even Mr. Darcy blush, acquiring 4,812 of these enigmatic coins at the altogether immodest sum of $458.7 million—an average price of $95,320 per Bitcoin (the elegance of numbers, though not quite the elegance of a ball at Netherfield).

The object of their affections? That sparkling new treasury dalliance, Twenty One Capital, the brainchild of Mr. Jack Mallers—whose taste for Bitcoin rivals Elizabeth Bennet’s for wit, and perhaps with as much reckless abandon. This company, not content to bloom in isolation, finds itself supported by a veritable assembly: Tether (the wealthy suitor), Bitfinex (the dependable cousin), Cantor Fitzgerald (the class-conscious aunt), and SoftBank Group (the mysterious visitor from afar). All, it seems, are engaged in the peculiar American tradition of a SPAC merger, so fashionable these days, and intend to sashay onto the Nasdaq as if attending Almack’s under the ticker ‘XXI’.

XXI

— Paolo Ardoino (@paoloardoino) May 13, 2025

Fortunes & Speculation at Twenty One Capital

As whispered in drawing rooms everywhere, Twenty One Capital aspires to begin life with a treasury exceeding 42,000 Bitcoin—roughly $4.4 billion, or in Regency terms, more than enough to make Mrs. Bennet swoon (again). Tether and Bitfinex are to hold the largest portions, while SoftBank contents itself with a smaller, though not insubstantial, slice of this modern pie.

Mr. Mallers, a man with ambitions equal to his youthful energy, intends to court even more capital: almost $600 million, raised by the rather daring means of convertible notes and private equity—scarcely the conservative investments Lady Catherine de Bourgh might approve, but the times, alas, are changing. Plans abound for Bitcoin lending and other innovations, for what is a fortune if not slightly risked?

This passionate affair with Bitcoin follows breathlessly upon the announcement that Tether has amassed north of $1 billion in revenue in just one quarter. The plot thickens! In this grand drama, Tether finds itself accompanied by such luminaries as Michael Saylor, whose investment firm devoured 13,390 Bitcoin like a hero vanquishing a most lucrative dragon, and Japan’s Metaplanet, which has swept up more Bitcoin than even the storied El Salvador (undoubtedly causing much envy at the next financial assembly).

Corporate Courtship—A Fainting Couch for Retail Traders

Reports from the keen observers at River describe corporations, in all their power and ingenuity, accumulating Bitcoin at a speed likely to leave the humble retail investor light-headed. In the year of our Lord 2025, corporate holdings of Bitcoin have blossomed by 157,000 BTC, equivalent to a not-so-paltry $16 billion (one wonders if even Lady Catherine could sneer at such figures).

Bitwise pronounces that a dozen companies have, for the first time, dipped their toes into Bitcoin’s turbulent waters this year alone, with overall publicly traded company holdings rising by a brisk 16%. Not to be outdone, CryptoQuant’s Mr. Ki Young Ju observed this weekend that Strategy, in their zest, are accumulating Bitcoin at intervals that outpace the miners themselves, allegedly transforming Bitcoin into a deflationary marvel—and the rest of us into quite breathless onlookers. Annual deflation: -2.3%. Mr. Wickham, if only you had chosen crypto.

Read More

2025-05-14 09:33