XRP Triumphs! SEC Retreats! Crypto Chaos Ensues! 🤪

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Hark, gentle readers! U.Today, your humble chronicler of crypto capers, presents three tales most curious.

XRP Laughs in Ethereum‘s Face (and Vice Versa?) 😂

By the grace of the blockchain gods, XRP, that plucky little token, is poised to mock Ethereum with six whole months of triumphant returns! Such a feat! Never before has XRP dared to outshine ETH for so long. In November, XRP strutted ahead by a whopping 160%. Now, some whisper of ETF blessings on the horizon. Will the Americans finally embrace the XRP elixir? Only time, and perhaps a few strategically placed rubles, will tell. 💰

XRP vs ETH Chart

A Whale’s Blubbering Bitcoin Bailout to Binance! 🐳

April 17th, a day etched in crypto infamy! Whale Alert, our ever-vigilant sentinel of digital leviathans, spotted a transfer. Six hundred whole Bitcoins, worth more than a Tsar’s ransom, vanished from an unknown wallet and reappeared at Binance! The wallet, it seems, belongs to BIT.com, a den of crypto speculation. Was it a sale? A secret transaction? Or merely a case of digital indigestion? The fee, a paltry $0.43, suggests either extreme efficiency or utter indifference to cost. 🤔

Bitcoin Transfer

Gensler Grumbles as SEC Gives Up the Ghost! 👻

Gary Gensler, former overlord of the SEC, appeared on “Squawk Box,” looking rather like a disappointed ghost at a feast. He was forced to comment on the SEC’s sudden retreat from its holy war against crypto. Ripple, Kraken, Coinbase – all spared the wrath! “Victory laps!” he lamented, as crypto CEOs celebrated their freedom. Gensler, ever the pessimist, warned that “almost 99%” of crypto is based on mere “sentiment.” Sentiment, you see, is a dangerous thing. It can lead to… *shudders* …losses! Only Bitcoin, he grudgingly admitted, might survive, thanks to its “real keen interest.” But the rest? Bah! Mere bubbles waiting to burst! 💥

Gary Gensler on CNBC

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2025-04-18 15:42