Worldly Gains? A Portfolio’s Existential Crisis

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My aunt Mildred, bless her, thinks “international investing” means buying a slightly nicer brand of olive oil. She’s not entirely wrong, in a philosophical sense. It’s all about diversifying away from the predictable misery of the domestic market. I’ve been poking around a couple of ETFs lately—the Schwab International Equity ETF (SCHF +0.60%) and the iShares MSCI ACWI ex U.S. ETF (ACWX +0.60%)—and honestly, it feels less like financial planning and more like a prolonged exercise in avoiding eye contact with my own savings account. Both are designed to be core holdings, which sounds reassuringly…substantial. Like a good pair of sensible shoes. But are they sensible enough? That’s what I’m trying to figure out.

The numbers, as always, are a bit of a tease. SCHF, the more frugal of the two, boasts an expense ratio of 0.03%. 0.03%! It’s practically giving money away. ACWX, at 0.32%, feels…ambitious. Like it’s trying to fund a small European principality. And the dividend yield? SCHF’s 3.25% is…well, it’s a number. A slightly more appealing number than ACWX’s 2.7%. I keep picturing these percentages as tiny, anxious people, desperately trying to climb a ladder. It’s not a healthy visualization, I admit.

Metric SCHF ACWX
Issuer Schwab iShares
Expense ratio 0.03% 0.32%
1-yr return (as of Jan. 24, 2026) 32.25% 31.86%
Dividend yield 3.25% 2.7%
Beta 0.81 0.74
AUM $57.14 billion $8.53 billion

Beta, they explain, measures volatility relative to the S&P 500. It’s like judging a dog by how enthusiastically it chases squirrels. AUM, or Assets Under Management, is just a fancy way of saying “how much money they’re playing with.”

Looking at performance, SCHF edges out ACWX over five years—$1,342 versus $1,267 on a $1,000 investment. It’s not a fortune, but it’s enough to buy a slightly less depressing brand of instant coffee. The max drawdown—the biggest dip—was comparable, which is…reassuringly uneventful. I prefer my investments to be quietly competent, not prone to dramatic outbursts.

Inside SCHF, you’ll find 1,498 holdings, a sprawling, diversified mess of companies. ACWX boasts 1,796, which sounds…excessive. Like they’re trying to cover all possible bases, just in case the global economy decides to take a bizarre, unpredictable turn. The top holdings are the usual suspects—Taiwan Semiconductor, Tencent, ASML, Samsung, Roche. It’s all very…international. I once tried to explain the concept of “holding companies” to my father. He just stared at me and asked if it involved actual holding.

Here’s where my activist side kicks in. These ETFs, by design, exclude U.S. stocks. Which, for a U.S.-based investor, feels…counterintuitive. It’s like deliberately avoiding the obvious. International markets are inherently more volatile, more susceptible to political whims and economic shocks. You need to pay attention. Really pay attention. Which, let’s be honest, most of us don’t. We skim headlines, assume everything will be fine, and then panic when it isn’t.

And the dividends are paid semi-annually. Semi-annually! It throws off my entire financial rhythm. I’ve become accustomed to quarterly payouts, and now I have to…wait. It feels…uncivilized. But overall, SCHF seems to have a slight edge. Better returns, lower fees, higher yield. It’s not a landslide victory, but it’s enough to make me cautiously optimistic. Which, for me, is saying something.

Here’s a glossary, for those of you who, like me, occasionally feel lost in the jargon:

ETF: Exchange-traded fund. Basically, a basket of stuff.
Expense ratio: How much they charge you for managing the basket.
Dividend yield: How much you get back, in cash.
Beta: How much the basket bounces around.
AUM: How big the basket is.
Max drawdown: How much the basket once dropped.
Growth of $1,000: How much your $1,000 would have grown (or shrunk).
Developed markets: Fancy countries.
Emerging markets: Countries that are trying to become fancy.
Sector tilt: When the basket is full of one type of thing.

For more guidance, there’s a link. I haven’t clicked it yet. I’m afraid of what I might find.

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2026-01-24 19:14