Let me tell you about the time my Aunt Phyllis tried to cancel Netflix. She’d discovered spreadsheets and suddenly fancied herself Warren Buffett. “I’m cutting all subscription services!” she declared, dramatically canceling her gym membership and three meal-kit deliveries. But when she tried to cancel Netflix, the website kept asking, “Are you sure?” in increasingly concerned fonts. She finally gave up and watched Don’t Look Up three times in a row. This, friends, is called customer retention.
The market keeps climbing like it’s auditioning for Free Solo. The S&P 500’s P/E ratio of 28 feels like buying a toaster that costs more than your car. But while the grown-ups panic about CAPE ratios and GDP percentages, I’ve been watching my neighbors. When was the last time you saw someone cancel Netflix? They’ll give up dental insurance before they part with 160GB of password-sharing.
Why Netflix Could Survive the Rapture
Remember 2022? Netflix panicked like a vegan at a Texas BBQ. Subscribers dipped, and suddenly every tech bro was declaring streaming dead. But here’s the thing about cultural addiction: even my 82-year-old father, who still says “the Google” with suspicion, knows to yell “Next!” at the TV when ads appear. (He thinks it’s part of the show.)
Global diversification? Please. Netflix’s business model is more globally entrenched than my cousin who thinks “international” means getting a Chipotle in Canada. They’ve got audiences in places where subtitles are considered character development. And let’s talk about the ad tier: my nephew streams Bluey on the cheapest plan while selling his poop for science on the side. Everyone wins.
Yes, the P/E ratio’s 55. So is my mortgage interest rate, but that’s neither here nor there. This is a company that could monetize the pause button if they tried. Price hikes? Subtle as a tax audit. International expansion? I once met a man in Kyrgyzstan who’d pirated 12 seasons of Orange Is the New Black because he “wanted to see how Americans do prison.” That’s market penetration.
So while the S&P plays chicken with gravity, I’ll keep my shares. The day Netflix falters is the day my Aunt Phyllis finds a spreadsheet template that cancels itself. Good luck with that. 📺
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2025-09-27 19:33