Why Deadbeat States Cost Coinbase Users $90 Million—And Counting! 😱

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Picture, if you will, Coinbase—the grandest bazaar of digital treasures in the good ol’ US of A—lamenting that citizens of a handful of states have collectively let slip over $90 million in staking rewards since last summer. That’s right, June 2023, to be precise.

Why, you ask? It seems these states took a rather dim view of Coinbase’s staking escapades, insisting on old-fashioned legal wrangles that’ve kept the shiny coins just out of reach.

The Great American Staking Standoff: Coinbase Calls Foul on Outmoded Bans

Come April 25, Coinbase, as brave as a Bulldog in a tutu, called on California, New Jersey, Maryland, Wisconsin, and South Carolina to toss aside their party-pooping restrictions on staking.

Removing the barricades, Coinbase argued, would simply make these states play nice with the Securities and Exchange Commission—the very body that, in a twist worthy of Jeeves himself, dropped its complaints earlier this year, waving Coinbase back into the staking game without so much as a raised eyebrow.

Following that, Illinois, Kentucky, South Carolina (who apparently had a change of heart), Vermont, and Alabama all reeled in their complaints like a fellow realizing he’s backed the wrong horse.

Yet, a stubborn few states remain obstinate, clutching their bans like an old hat that doesn’t quite fit anymore.

Coinbase maintains these bans were never meant for honest staking ventures—more for chasing off the riff-raff and charlatans of the financial underbrush.

If these holdouts stay their course, the pile of lost loot will only grow—much to the chagrin of the good folks caught in the crossfire.

“These laggard states are doing their best to hobble their own citizens by blocking safe ways to fatten their purses through staking. Tens of millions lost already—and the ledger’s still inked in red,” quipped Coinbase’s chief legal eagle, Paul Grewal, on his X perch.

Coinbase disappointment cartoon

But wait, there’s more! Coinbase warns that desperate souls might scamper off to sketchier venues for their staking fix—places where your digital bankroll might flutter away faster than Aunt Agatha’s temper at a dance hall.

“By picking on Coinbase, these states are playing favourites in a game where consumers ought to call the shots. Instead, they shove folks toward the wild west of less regulated staking dens,” Coinbase sighed.

Beyond the immediate sting, this brouhaha throws a wet blanket on the whole crypto carnival in the US, sowing confusion where clarity ought to reign.

While Uncle Sam’s top office and a good few states have begun drafting the rulebook with a bit more sense, these reluctant holdouts risk becoming the regulatory equivalent of a flat tire at a horse race.

“More litigation from these corners? It’s less protection, more perplexity and peril. If confusion burned calories, these lawsuits would have them fit as fiddles,” Coinbase noted wryly.

In closing, Coinbase pleads for a little sense of humour and harmony—abandon the bans, embrace the future, and let the crypto coins jingle merrily for all.

After all, a savvy, safer, and sprightlier crypto economy is just the ticket for the land of the free—and maybe even the home of the brave.

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2025-04-26 12:30