Friends, Romans, countrymen—lend me your ears! For the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics has graced us with news of March’s merriment: a robust increase of 228,000 jobs!
Oh, What a Booming Job Market! But Bitcoin? Not So Much…
Behold the splendid data, extracted from the annals of bureaucratic glory! Yet, while hiring numbers dance like merry little sprites, our dear Bitcoin remains wedded to its lackluster dalliance, clinging to a sideways trend as steadfastly as a miscreant clings to his alibi.
Metrics Galore: A Market to Behold!
Bitcoin oscillated within a most captivating range of $81,282.10 to $84,696.15—truly riveting! At this very moment, BTC basks in the glow of $83,161.37, albeit a modest increase of 2.22% over a single day. Alas! A decline of 1.19% over the week weighs heavily upon its digital shoulders. Trading volume? A paltry $42.5 billion, down by 21.28%! It seems the market revelers have taken a sabbatical.
As for BTC dominance? A mere 62.68%, slipping by 0.19% daily. It appears altcoins have donned their finest attire, ready to steal the show!
Now let us ponder the futures! Open interest stands at $52.23 billion— down 2.43%, like a sad comedic fool. Total liquidations? A staggering $9.23 million in just a day! A veritable panic among bulls and bears alike! 💸
A Surge in Hiring? But Not Without Dreadful Ironies!
March has witnessed the rise of 228,000 jobs, exceeding the puffed-up expectations of 130,000. However, unemployment sauntered upward to 4.2%, a rise of 0.1% from the blessed month of February. Oh, how the fates love their irony!
Ah, Bitcoin—our beloved risk asset—yearns for low-interest soils to flourish. Alas, Friday’s data may now snuff out any hope of swift rate cuts by the ever-watchful U.S. Federal Reserve.
Bitcoin: A Hedge Against Isolation!
Enter Geoffrey Kendrick, head of digital assets research at Standard Chartered. He proclaims Bitcoin an “isolation hedge” against President Trump’s tariffs, like a knight shielding us from dragons!
“In the last 36 hours, we must add ‘U.S. isolation’ hedge to Bitcoin’s illustrious resume,” Kendrick opined, surely with a twinkle in his eye.
“A triumphant return above the critical $85K threshold seems plausible today, dear friends, igniting dreams of reaching the $88.5K pre-tariff heaven by this very weekend!” he declared with dramatic flair.
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2025-04-04 19:30