When a $22M Love Letter to STAAR Surgical Feels Like a Backhanded Compliment 💼

Picture this: London’s Sand Grove Capital Management, armed with a spreadsheet and a caffeine IV, just bought $22 million worth of STAAR Surgical shares. Because nothing says “confidence” like betting on a company whose stock has been playing hide-and-seek with the S&P 500 for a year. [Scene: A hedge fund manager dramatically sighs as the intern brings him a “World’s Best Investor” mug.]

Plot Twist: The SEC Filing Edition

In what’s being called “the most romantic SEC filing since Elon tweeted about Dogecoin,” Sand Grove disclosed a shiny new 829,123-share position in STAAR Surgical (STAA 1.63%). Let’s pause to admire the math: $22.28 million invested in a company whose market cap could fit inside Jeff Bezos’s yacht closet. The filing, dated November 14, 2025, reads like a financial rom-com where the protagonist buys a timeshare in a struggling ophthalmology-themed amusement park.

Portfolio Drama & Corporate Soap Operas

This gamble represents 10.88% of Sand Grove’s 13F assets-a number that sounds suspiciously like a “Hail Mary” pass in football terms. For context, their top holdings now include:

NYSE:TXNM: $33.54 million (16.4% of AUM, a.k.a. “The Office” binge-watching fund)
NYSE:K: $26.73 million (13.1% of AUM, better than investing in NFT gym memberships)
NYSE:NSC: $25.35 million (12.4% of AUM, because railroads never go out of style)
NASDAQ:MRUS: $22.54 million (11.0% of AUM, unless aliens invade)
NASDAQ:EA: $22.44 million (11.0% of AUM, now with 401(k) tax advantages)

Meanwhile, STAAR shares linger at $23.93-a price that makes the S&P 500’s 15% gain look like a Taylor Swift tour afterparty. [Cut to a lonely stock ticker crying into a pizza box.]

Corporate Bingo Card

Metric	Value
Price (as of Tuesday)	$23.93 (buy 8 and get 1 free!)
Market capitalization	$1.18 billion (small enough to hide in Buffett’s wallet)
Revenue (TTM)	$230.59 million (half of Beyoncé’s tour gross)
Net income (TTM)	($96.37 million) (a black hole of expenses)

Company Snapshot: Eye Candy or Cataract?

They make implantable lenses that fix vision better than your optometrist’s small talk.
Revenue streams: ophthalmic products sold directly to surgeons who probably still use pagers.
Global presence spanning the U.S., Asia, and Europe-though their Wi-Fi password remains a mystery.

STAAR Surgical: where innovation meets eye-rony. They’re like the Elon Musk of intraocular devices, minus the Twitter rants. Their business model? Proprietary products sold directly to clinicians, because who needs middlemen when you’ve got a 10-ton autoclave?

The Fool’s Gambit

Here’s the twist: STAAR’s Q3 revenue grew 6.9% to $94.7 million while gross margins skyrocketed to 82.2% (blame China’s shipping schedule). Operating income tripled, though taxes played spoiler like a CFO who hates fun. With $193 million in cash and zero debt, they’re basically the Warren Buffett of eye implants. [Cue montage of executives high-fiving over laser calibration.]

This isn’t a growth stock-it’s a “wait-for-the-credits” investment. For patient shareholders, the real question is whether operational gains can outpace the company’s 15% market lag. Or as Sand Grove might say: “We’ll take our chances with the vision correction lottery.” 🎯

Corporate Slang Decoded

13F: The SEC’s version of a LinkedIn status update.

AUM: Assets Under Management-aka “Adults Using Monopoly money.”

Position: What your spine lacks after 10 hours of earnings calls.

Trailing twelve months (TTM): The financial equivalent of checking your ex’s Instagram.

Quarter-end: The Hunger Games for analysts.

Market value: What your stock would sell for at a yard sale.

Stake: What vampires avoid, but investors love.

Filing: Paperwork that makes “Netflix and chill” sound appealing.

Proprietary product: Patent-protected awesomeness (or lawsuits).

Direct sales: Selling stuff without the middleman-like eBay, but legal.

Ophthalmic: Eye-related medical stuff. See also: “I can’t see my portfolio.”

2025-12-23 22:57