“What?! Another $13M in Ethereum Vanishes—Who’s to Blame?”
O wondrous realm of cryptocurrency, what sorcery befalls thee now? Another day, another calamity,
and today’s tragicomedy unfurls from the frothy depths of that decentralized bazaar, GMX! Malicious
actors, those nefarious rascals clad not in cloaks but in lines of code, have schemed their way to
pilfer a staggering 6,260 ETH—nay, around $13 million of digital ducats! Blimey, I suspect even
Count Dracula would blush at such audacity. 🧛♂️💰
How $13 Million Was Magically Absconded
Picture the chaos: GMX Communication contributor Jonezee (@Jonas_ALA), perched atop his
metaphorical soapbox on X, sought to soothe the panicked crypto masses. “Fear not!” he cried,
with all the bravado of a man defending his chicken coop after someone stole the eggs. Alas, the
GMX contracts remain unscathed—but there’s always a catch, isn’t there? It appears the
mischievous fingers of fate toyed instead with Abracadabra Spell’s “cauldrons.” Oh yes, folks,
even the wizards of DeFi lending aren’t safe from the dark force known colloquially as “hackers.”
And no, there’s no Hogwarts diploma that can undo this mess. 🧙♂️🍵
Permit me to enlighten: Abracadabra lends its stablecoin, Magic Internet Money (MIM), to eager
borrowers who must pledge their most prized digital possessions as collateral. What’s that? You
say “cauldrons” sound magically secure? Well, my dear reader, those cauldrons were precisely
where our hackers, dripping with insolence, concocted their scheme. With GM pools as their
bubbling foundation, they brewed up trouble of hilariously unfortunate proportions.
“To clarify, GMX contracts are unaffected. It relates to Abracadabra/Spell’s cauldrons based
on GMX V2’s GM pools. The contributors are currently looking into the cause, and I’d like to
apologize wholeheartedly to anybody negatively affected. This is very unfortunate.”
— Jonezee 🫐 (@Jonas_ALA), March 25, 2025
A user, one OxAnhell, took to X with a pressing inquiry: “So the GMX GM liquidity pools in your earn
page are unaffected?” Jonezee, perhaps clutching his keyboard with the desperation one reserves
for having the last bite of cake at a party, assured all that GMX has remained pristine, untouched, and
unsullied. Smells fishy, doesn’t it? 🐟
Is Ethereum Now the Favorite Snack of Digital Bandits?
Oh dear, Ethereum holders, gird your loins! This isn’t the first time our slick, shiny ETH tokens
have been whispered away by invisible specters of thievery. In February, dark forces infiltrated
Bybit’s cold wallet and skedaddled with $1.4 billion worth of Ethereum. It would appear that thieves
these days are no longer content with pearls—they lust after digital gold now. 💎💻
And what of the aftermath? Does law, that frail elderly creature, stand a chance against this crypto
wild west? Collaborations are underway—Tether, Tron, and TRM Labs have locked down $9 million
linked to a prior heist. Bravo! Surely, that leaves only another billion to chase, no biggie. Meanwhile,
Ethereum’s price performs a delicate waltz, dipping by 1.45% to land at $2,060.12. Who needs a
rollercoaster when you’ve got crypto charts? 🎢📉
As investigations drag on, one must wonder: is the real villain the hacker… or our boundless optimism
that decentralized protocols could ever become truly impervious? Alas, friends, in the theater of
cryptocurrency, folly wears a crown while vigilance struggles to find a seat. 🎭👑
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2025-03-25 17:45