Wells Fargo’s $832M Oopsie: Bank Caught Robbing Kids’ Piggy Bank!

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Well, well, well, Wells Fargo. The bank that’s been caught with its hand in the cookie jar—again! This time, it’s not just any cookie jar, but a trust fund for 2,000 kids. 🍪💰 A Florida jury just slapped them with an $832 million bill for mismanaging and charging unauthorized fees. Ouch! That’s gotta hurt more than stepping on a Lego.

The Seminole Minors Per Capita Payment Trust, set up by the Seminole Tribe of Florida, was supposed to secure the financial futures of these kids. Instead, Wells Fargo turned it into a cash cow, milking it for $7 million in unauthorized fees. 🐄💸 The bank’s relationship manager, Kim Scott, even admitted under oath that he never fully reviewed the trust’s governing documents. Classic “I didn’t read the fine print” defense. 🙄

And let’s not forget the eight Wells Fargo execs who were ordered to pay token damages ranging from $50 to $500. That’s like fining a billionaire a nickel for stealing a yacht. 🛥️🪙

Wells Fargo was fired as the trustee back in 2016 after the Seminole Tribe discovered their investment strategy was about as effective as a screen door on a submarine. 🌊🚪 The trust’s returns barely kept up with inflation, and the tribe questioned $7.6 million in illegal fees. But hey, at least they’re consistent—consistently terrible. 😬

Of course, Wells Fargo plans to appeal. Their spokesperson, Meghan McDonald, claims they followed the tribe’s instructions and delivered financial results consistent with the trust’s mandate. Sure, Jan. 🙄 Their “full story” probably involves a lot of finger-pointing and a few “whoopsies.”

The trust, set up two decades ago, was originally managed by Wachovia Bank, which Wells Fargo acquired in 2008. It’s funded primarily by the tribe’s gaming enterprises and is now worth nearly $3 billion. 🎰💎 So, while Wells Fargo is busy counting their losses, the Seminole Tribe is probably counting their blessings—and their lawyers. 🕴️⚖️

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2025-04-05 20:01