‘Want To Run Away So Badly’: Melissa Gilbert Opens Up About Childhood Struggles With Misophonia

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As a fervent admirer of Melissa Gilbert, who captivated us as Half Pint in Little House on the Prairie, I must say that her recent revelation about her lifelong struggle with misophonia has deeply touched me. It’s heartbreaking to imagine the turmoil she experienced, feeling misunderstood and guilty for reactions beyond her control.

Melissa Gilbert is particularly recognized for her beloved portrayal of Laura Ingalls, or Half Pint, in Little House on the Prairie. Lately, she’s disclosed a deeply personal struggle she’s faced since her youth. Beneath the cheerful face that captivated viewers for decades, Gilbert has been grappling with a neurological issue that often makes her feel isolated and uncomprehended.

According to a special article in PEOPLE, it was common for everyday noises to cause significant unease for young Gilbert. Sounds such as chewing, the pop of gum, clicking fingers, and even handclaps could provoke intense feelings of irritation and discomfort within him.

During filming, especially when shooting scenes in the Little House set, she frequently found herself wanting to escape. As the children would chew gum or tap their nails on the table, she felt a strong impulse to leave the scene, as she explained in an interview with PEOPLE, vividly detailing her struggles.

In a conversation with PEOPLE, the actress from Safe Harbour shared that as a child, she frequently felt intense embarrassment, her cheeks flushing, and her eyes filling with tears, all while experiencing a deep sense of misery and unbearable guilt. This emotional turmoil was particularly challenging because it was directed towards those she cared for deeply. It wasn’t just an uncomfortable feeling; it was a torturous mix of shame and powerlessness, knowing that these emotions were inappropriate but being unable to regulate them.

For quite some time, Gilbert harbored the belief that she was fundamentally ‘flawed’ as an individual, attributing this to an apparently unusual and embarrassing aspect of her personality. However, she later confessed to PEOPLE Magazine that it wasn’t until much later in life that she learned her reactions stemmed from a genuine, diagnosable condition known as misophonia.

This neurological disorder causes individuals to have strong, often unpleasant emotional and physical responses to specific sounds or even visual triggers. 

She confessed that when she learned it had a label and she wasn’t simply flawed, she broke down in tears. The enormity of discovering there was an explanation for her emotions brought great relief, yet with that relief came the stark understanding that this affliction had played a substantial role in shaping her life.

From personal experience, I’ve come to understand that Misophonia isn’t just about feeling annoyed by sounds; it’s about the burden of guilt and solitude that often comes with this condition. Growing up, I was frequently viewed as picky or troublesome by my family, who didn’t grasp the depth of my struggles.

She confided to PEOPLE that she’d stare at her family members, particularly her parents, grandma, and siblings, with eyes brimming with loathing. The remorse from such strong responses further fueled her feelings of solitude.

According to reports, her own children also experienced this condition in their upbringing. Gilbert remembers that even something as ordinary as chewing could cause distress for her. To silently communicate this to her kids, she would make a hand gesture mimicking chewing and then snap it shut. As she explained to PEOPLE magazine, “My poor children lived through their entire childhoods with me doing this. They weren’t allowed to chew gum.”

According to the report, when Gilbert went through menopause, her responses became more noticeable and heightened. The hormonal fluctuations amplified her sensitivity, causing her to be more sensitive and quick-tempered. Reflecting on this period, she acknowledged that these changes made her existing difficulties even more challenging.

It took until last year for Gilbert to learn about a treatment option for misophonia – this was at Duke University’s Center for Misophonia and Emotional Regulation. Reports indicate that she sought help there and found out that Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) could be beneficial in alleviating her symptoms. After undergoing 16 weeks of intensive therapy, Gilbert experienced a level of control she hadn’t felt before.

She clarified that this matter is deeply personal and involves managing one’s emotions, specifically through self-discipline. CBT provided her with the skills to identify the initial signs of tension and apply techniques to remain composed before her responses escalate. For instance, she found that by consciously relaxing her feet, a subtle physical action, she could regain control in challenging situations.

Lately, she publicly thanked her Instagram audience for their support, detailing in a sincere message how the recent resolution of her persistent issues has significantly transformed her life.

“Gilbert expressed profound gratitude for discovering a solution to his misophonia at @dukecenterformisophonia, stating that it transformed his life. In the caption, he also urged those who might be silently enduring this condition or knowing someone who is, to seek help and hold onto hope, as assistance is available.”

Remarkably, now that she has the resources to cope with her misophonia, Gilbert told PEOPLE that her life has undergone a significant transformation. Consequently, her loved ones no longer need to tread carefully around her.

Last Christmas, she presented her children with an unexpected gift – packs of gum symbolizing the advancements she’s achieved. Gilbert’s battle with misophonia is still ongoing, yet she aims to spread understanding and inspire hope for those silently enduring similar struggles by telling her story.

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2024-08-21 21:23