Wall Street’s Wild Plan to 51% Attack Ethereum: Are We All in a Cosmic Joke?

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In a cosmic twist of fate and a thread that could only unfold in the splendidly bewildering realm of financial speculations, Bitcoin Magazine’s illustrious CEO, David Bailey, decided on July 23, “why not spark a debate?” This wasn’t just any ordinary thread, mind you, but one that launched Bitcoin advocates and Ethereum enthusiasts into a friendly (read: fiery) debate about how the proof-of-stake (PoS) security model might frolic with traditional capital markets. Meanwhile, in the far-off land of traded Ethereum treasury companies, Ether was accumulating and staking like a squirrel preparing for hibernation—an emerging trend, it seems! 🐿️

Wall Street’s 51% Attack: The High-Stakes Comedy of Errors

Bailey’s rather audacious scenario hinges on this quaint little concept of concentration: if a gaggle of corporate balance sheets happens to acquire a significant share of staked ETH, he mused, perhaps equity-market shenanigans could take the place of actually, you know, buying tokens. He opened his thrilling theory with: “If enough ETH validators were owned by public Ethereum treasury companies (we’re talking around 20% of total ETH supply), you could launch a 51% attack on the public equities (yes, that’s a thing), and woosh—suddenly, you have governance over Ethereum! Congratulations, you’ve just transformed securities law into Ether’s new consensus mechanism. Grab a cupcake, it’s party time!” 🎉

Extending this mind-boggling notion, he confidently proposed that this little escapade “opens quite an interesting investment strategy.” Because what could go wrong? He added with a wink, “Since Ethereum is not a security, Ethereum holders have no legal rights… So, you could reorg the chain, slash other users, and legally pillage! What a time to be alive!” 💰

Bailey’s grand hypothesis rests on two particularly optimistic assumptions: first, that our beloved publicly listed Ethereum treasury companies amass an impressively large percentage of staked Ether; second, that some villainous actors could nab board control through robustly charming takeovers, activist campaigns, or equally bizarre financial tactics—without even looking at ETH on-chain. Quite the juggling act, wouldn’t you say?

In a delightful counterattack, critics raised a hand, claiming that none other than (drum roll, please) the attackers would slide into the scene having to buy heaps of Ether and enrich existing holders. To this, Bailey retorted, “Oh, please! You don’t need to buy any ETH; just buy stock in those fancy companies that already own it!” It’s almost like a riddle from the deepest reaches of the universe. 🤔

However, as with all cosmic curiosities, a pseudonymous commentator known as Birdnals framed the scenario as one requiring the synchronized stealth of several boards heading a gaggle of “5+ publicly traded companies” amidst a throng of agents—many of whom just so happened to be ETH maxis. Sounds like a party where no one was invited! 🎭

They kindly warned that such antics might lead to all kinds of legal mischief—fraud, anti-trust violations, RICO—oh my! Making Bailey’s delightful proposition seem a smidgen brittle. Bailey, with the confidence of an intergalactic traveler, responded that “hostile takeovers are a whole world unto themselves in capital markets” and seriously pondered how “social slashing” would be applied “without messing up the other 49% of shareholders who are just minding their own business.”

Technical luminaries from Ethereum were quicker than a Varha-Na in pointing out that ownership of validators does not equal governance authority. Former federal agent Tigran Gambaryan remarked: “Block production and miner extraction value, perhaps, but governance? That’s a whole different kettle of hyperdimensional fish! ETH governance is off-chain.” Interjecting with the glee of a true ETH enthusiast, nicholasb.eth stated: “Many PoS blockchains utilize on-chain governance, but Ethereum? Not even close. Just because someone owns the most ETH doesn’t mean they control the network!” Facts, oh glorious facts!

As we touch down on this wacky adventure, ETH was trading at $

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2025-07-24 22:18