Wall Street Wolves Back in Crypto? Tower Research Goes All In (Again) 🐺💸

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In the cold dawn of 2023, while the bureaucrats gnawed at lead pencils and litigated in circles, Tower Research Capital—yes, the same “VIP” nobleman dragged nobly through U.S. Commodity Futures Trading Commission’s courts—polished its boots and marched back onto the scarred plains of cryptocurrency. What’s a little lawsuit in the saga of eternal survival?

So Tower Research, battered but unbowed (and ever fond of a high-frequency miracle), fertilizes its trading fields with fresh capital, the way herded peasants sow rye before winter, eyes on cryptic numbers rather than the heavens. The infrastructure—ah, bless the souls condemned to server rooms—creaks and snarls, but somehow it grows stronger, hunched over terminals, plotting how to squeeze one more fraction of a coin from galaxies of digital exchanges.

Among the chess pieces, a new Grandmaster emerges: Limestone Trading, the cream in Tower’s battered tea, stirring the market-making witches’ brew with the precision of a Moscow railroad clerk. Arbitrage here, spread trading there—a perpetual motion machine, fueled by caffeine, code, and the scent of arbitrage… and perhaps some leftover angst from the FTX cataclysm. 🚂🛠️

In 2022, when FTX and Alameda evaporated like vodka on a hot stove, Tower, ever the stoic, retreated. But winter passes even in Siberia; the sun now peeks through, and crypto’s allure beckons with imperial indifference. Tower advances, boots muddy, back into the mire. (And across the trench, Citadel Securities sharpens its bayonets, tempted again by the promise of digital gold—perhaps inspired by Trump’s latest crypto bear hug. Politics, as always, being just another market.)

Meanwhile, the mandarins at the SEC, faces as pale as an Arctic moon, shuffle ETF applications in a Sisyphean marathon of paperwork. Delays everywhere—so what else is new? Still, the analysts, with blind optimism born of familiarity with disappointment, murmur of high chances for approval. Another day in paradise, comrades. One foot in the Gulag, the other in the golden vault.

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2025-05-05 16:04