So, apparently the big shot at Morgan Stanley decided to share his *expert* opinion—and spoiler alert: it’s about as exciting as watching paint dry. He says the US stock market is about as thrilling as a Sunday afternoon nap, with “not a lot of upside” left for 2024. Groundbreaking stuff. 💤
In an exclusive interview with CNBC, Andrew Slimmon—who apparently manages money but maybe should consider managing his excitement—mentioned the S&P 500 probably won’t crack 6,000 anytime soon. Because who doesn’t love a good party that’s just a little too subdued?
Slimmon, the visionary, asserts:
“My base case for the year has been [that] it’s a pause year. We’ve had two great years in a row, and the market needs a break—because apparently, it’s just like us, tired after binge-watching two seasons of prosperity. If I work backwards from the end of the year, it’s tough to see the markets cruising past 6,000 without some dramatic flair. They’ve got the attention span of a goldfish, so expect some dips, probably around summer, because nothing says ‘fun’ like a good ol’ market nosedive in July.”
And if that wasn’t enough to make you snore, he added a dash of disillusionment:
“I get really intrigued when the actual data diverges wildly from what the so-called ‘experts’ are predicting. Earnings? They shined in the first quarter—beat forecasts by $3.50, no less. But the whole year? Down $10. Because, of course, the *bad* is just waiting to knock us over like a surprise guest at a dinner party. Remember COVID? Those analysts were dreadfully negative then, too. History repeats, or at least it’s trying to—so I’d bet dollars to donuts that we’ll see some sort of rally late in the year when these guys are finally forced to face facts and revise those gloomy predictions. But for now? Sit tight—nothing much exciting expected until Q4.”
At the moment, the S&P 500 is limping along at 5,975—just shy of the ‘ooh, maybe it could be a record’ mark by a mere 2.8%. When will we finally break free from this lazy slump? Stay tuned, or better yet, take a nap. 💤
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2025-06-03 21:41