Vitalik Buterin Roasts EU’s Chat Control: ‘Privacy or Panic? 🕵️♂️’

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Oh, do sit down, darling. Ethereum’s enfant terrible, Vitalik Buterin, has taken a rather pointed stick to the EU’s “Chat Control” proposal. “Darling, we are not here to be spied upon over a cup of tea,” he quipped, sipping his digital dram. “Privacy is not a luxury-it’s a *birthright*.” 🎩

In a post so sardonic it could double as a cocktail recipe, the crypto kingpin skewered the EU’s plan to force tech firms to scan private chats for “illegal content.” “You see, my dear politicians, if you make backdoors for the bobbies, the hackers will *inevitably* crash the party. It’s not a ‘if’-it’s a ‘when.’” 🕵️♂️💥

This zinger arrived in reply to entrepreneur Pieter Levels, who warned Europeans to “reject this surveillance smorgasbord.” Buterin, ever the wit, added, “Do remember, darling, security built on insecurity is a house of cards in a hurricane.” 🏗️🌪️

Lawmakers’ Double Standards: A Farce in Five Acts

Buterin then turned his gaze to the EU’s lawmakers, who, he noted, “demand exemptions for themselves while drafting laws to watch you. How *quaint*.” 🎭 He linked to a report revealing that ministers wish to exempt themselves, their spies, and the military from the very surveillance they’d impose on the masses. “One must wonder: do they sip their coffee while monitoring their own chats? Or do they simply… *trust*?” ☕🤔

Fifteen nations currently support the proposal, but alas, they lack the 65% population quota. Germany, the reluctant ringmaster, holds the fate of this circus. “If they nod, the law passes. If they yawn, it dies. How *dramatic*.” 🎪

Web3: The EU’s Accidental BFF?

Crypto enthusiasts, ever the optimists, suggest this chaos might drive users to Web3’s privacy-first embrace. “Ah yes, ‘not your keys, not your data’-a mantra for the modern age,” said Diode’s Hans Rempel. Brickken’s Elisenda Fabrega, meanwhile, warned of a fragmented EU market. “You can’t have your cake and eat it while violating the EU Charter. *Darling*.” 🍰📜

And let’s not forget the pièce de résistance: government backdoors. “Given their track record with data breaches, it’s like handing a toddler a loaded gun. *Delightful*.” 🔫👶

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2025-09-27 10:36