Hold onto your scalpels, ladies and gentlemen, because Viking Therapeutics just got SHREDDERED on the NYSE like a meth-head accountant at tax day. The bloodbath started when their golden goose VK2735-this supposed “miracle in a pill” for weight loss-spewed up phase 2 results that looked like they were written by a lab monkey on PCP. Body weight dropped 12.2%? Sure. But 20% of guinea pigs bailed because their guts were staging a MUTINY? Classic.
WELCOME TO THE CARNAGE
Let’s parse this fever dream. Viking’s mouth pill supposedly matched Eli Lilly’s injectable orforglipron in weight loss (12.2% vs 12.4%)-but here’s the kicker: Lilly’s trial had 10.3% dropout rate from hellish side effects. Viking’s? A SHINING 20%. And get this-the placebo group in their trial had 13% quitting from “adverse effects” that DEFINITELY included existential dread. Meanwhile, Lilly’s placebo quitters were a mere 2.6%. Coincidence? Or a pharmaceutical OUIJA BOARD telling us to RUN?
This isn’t science-it’s a GODDAMN horror film. Remember phase 1? “No clinically meaningful differences” between drug and placebo? BULLSHIT. Turns out the only difference was that the placebo group didn’t have shareholders watching their portfolio turn into a Dali clock.
INVESTORS: THE REAL DRUG ADDICTS
What’s next for Viking? Either they double down on phase 3 trials like high-roller degenerates at a bankrupt casino… or some Big Pharma vulture swoops in to pick through the carcass. Partnerships? Sure. But right now, Viking’s board is probably huddled in a smoke-filled room whispering “DID WE CREATE A MONSTER?” while their stock chart looks like a defibrillator flatline.
Bottom line: Biotech’s a WACKO RIDE where today’s miracle is tomorrow’s cautionary tale. But hey-at least the company’s still standing. For now. 🧪
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2025-08-22 17:54