Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and any extraterrestrial investors tuned into this interstellar broadcast-prepare your wallets! Viasat (VSAT), the satellite telephony maestros, rocketed 9% this week. Why? Because apparently, Wall Street decided the future smells like space internet and suspiciously few dropped calls. Blame it on “space optimism,” company hype, or the fact that their demo involved texting via satellite like it’s 2001: A Space Odyssey meets AOL Instant Messenger.
Viable Viasat
Let’s set the scene: Mexico City, a room full of skeptics, and Viasat proving their tech works. Picture this-a satellite-connected Android phone texting a regular cellphone. It’s like watching a carrier pigeon deliver a scroll to a Wi-Fi router. And for the grand finale? The HMD Offgrid, a device so rugged it probably survives both nuclear winters and your Aunt Karen’s coffee table.
“This technology bridges the connectivity gap!” declared Hector Rivero of Viasat Mexico, presumably while dodging a falling satellite dish. “Imagine: millions connected via space beams instead of spotty cell towers!” Because nothing says “progress” like replacing your 5G with a signal from low Earth orbit. 🚀
Major contract in force
But wait-there’s more! Viasat snagged a prime contract from the U.S. Space Force, which is basically the military’s way of saying, “Sure, Elon, but how easy is your satellite to mount on a Death Star?” They’ll now build a dedicated network for the Space Force, which hopefully includes a “Satellite Wi-Fi” button labeled “Do Not Push.”
Investors cheered, analysts nodded gravely, and a lone economist muttered, “This is how we all die-strangled by space cables.” Yet here we are: Viasat, the company that turns “beaming from space” into a business model, looks poised to turn low-orbit signals into high-orbit profits. And remember, folks-if you’re ever stranded on a desert island, just text Viasat. They’ll reply… eventually.
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2025-10-18 02:02