Verizon: Fine, They’re Doing Okay, I Guess

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So, Verizon. They had that…incident. You remember, the whole network just stopped? It was…unsettling. Like, what is the deal with these companies? They take your money, promise you connectivity, and then…nothing. Anyway, they seem to have recovered. Not that they called me to apologize, mind you. They just put out some numbers. And, fine, the numbers are…okay. I’ll give them that.

The stock went up. Of course it did. Everything goes up these days. It’s infuriating. But, look, they reported their Q4 results, and it wasn’t a disaster. Which, frankly, is a low bar. People are expecting disaster with these telecom companies, so anything less is celebrated. It’s ridiculous. And now everyone’s talking about a 6.4% dividend yield. Like that solves everything. It doesn’t, you know. It just…is.

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1. Free Cash Flow: They’re Not Losing Money

Okay, so they generated $20.1 billion in free cash flow. And they think they’ll get to $21.5 billion next year. It’s a projection, people! A projection! Like they can predict the future. What about unforeseen circumstances? A rogue solar flare? A sudden surge in people deciding to just…stop using phones? It’s just…optimistic. They’re saying it’s the highest since 2020. 2020! A year we all want to forget.

2. Earnings: They’re Not Losing As Much Money

The payout ratio is 58%. Fifty-eight percent! It’s…acceptable. I suppose. People are obsessed with these ratios. Like it’s some kind of magic number. If the earnings go up, the ratio goes down. It’s basic math. But it doesn’t change the fact that they’re still taking a cut of your money. They’re projecting earnings per share of $4.90 to $4.95. It’s…a number. A perfectly adequate number. They call it “significant acceleration.” Acceleration towards what? More profit for them? Is that what we’re celebrating?

3. The “Underlying Business”: They’re Still In Business

The CEO, Dan Shulman, says they’re at an “inflection point.” An inflection point! What does that even mean? It sounds like something a consultant made up. He says it’s the “beginning of our turnaround.” Turnaround from what? From being a massive, monolithic corporation that provides a necessary but often frustrating service? The numbers, they say, back it up. They had the highest quarterly postpaid phone net additions since 2019. 2019! Before the world went crazy. Wireless revenue went up 1.1%. 1.1%! It’s barely noticeable. And they jumped 9.1% in wireless equipment revenue. It’s all just…numbers. They’re also deleveraging their balance sheet, which is good, I guess. Less debt is always good. But it doesn’t solve the fundamental problem: they’re a telecom company.

And now they’ve acquired Frontier Communications. More fiber footprint. Over 30 million homes and businesses. It’s just…more. More wires, more signals, more potential for dropped calls and billing errors. It’s a never-ending cycle. Honestly, it’s exhausting. They call it a “pivotal step.” Pivotal towards what? More profits? It’s always about the profits, isn’t it?

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2026-01-31 13:52