Vance’s Crypto Crusade: The End of Chokepoint and the Rise of Bitcoin!

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In a most splendid display of oratory, Vice President J.D. Vance has proclaimed the grand finale of “Operation Chokepoint 2.0,” pledging his undying affection for digital assets at the Bitcoin 2025 conference in the glitzy realm of Las Vegas. 🎰

Crypto ‘Is a Movement,’ Vance Tells Packed Bitcoin 2025 Crowd

Addressing a crowd that could only be described as positively buzzing with excitement, J.D. Vance laid out the Trump administration’s crypto manifesto, which, if I may say, sounded rather like a call to arms for deregulation, innovation, and a hearty handshake with the bitcoin brigade. “This isn’t just a gathering of people—it’s a movement,” Vance declared, puffing out his chest like a proud peacock. “And I’m positively chuffed to stand with you today.”

J.D. Vance onstage at the Bitcoin 2025 conference, looking rather dapper, I must say.

The vice president, in a moment of sheer brilliance, credited the early crypto champions—David Bailey and the Winklevoss twins—for unleashing a veritable flood of support from Silicon Valley for the Trump campaign. “Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss helped break the dam in Silicon Valley,” he quipped, gesturing grandly as if he were conducting an orchestra of ideas.

Vance then unveiled three core digital asset policy goals, which sounded suspiciously like a recipe for success: abolishing pesky regulations, advancing stablecoin legislation via the GENESIS Act, and crafting a clear market framework for all crypto assets and stablecoins. “Stablecoins don’t threaten the dollar—they amplify it,” he proclaimed, as if he were revealing the secret ingredient in a family recipe.

“Under the guise of ‘consumer protection,’” Vance continued, “former SEC Chair Gary Gensler launched a full-frontal assault on every attempt to democratize finance.” He confirmed Gensler’s dismissal with the flair of a magician pulling a rabbit from a hat, framing it as part of a grand strategy to shield innovation from what he dubbed “bureaucratic warfare.” 🥳

In a moment of gravitas, Vance highlighted crypto’s noble role in safeguarding civil liberties, declaring digital assets a bulwark against financial censorship and the overreach of the elite. He cited the 2022 Canadian trucker protest and U.S. “debanking” incidents as shining examples. “At its core, crypto is a hedge—against bad policymaking, against inflation, and against discrimination,” he stated, sounding rather like a modern-day Robin Hood.

As he wrapped up his rousing address, the vice president urged the crypto community to roll up their sleeves and get involved in politics, dubbing the industry “a national asset” and praising initiatives like the Bitcoin Reserve and the Bitcoin Policy Institute. “If you don’t get involved in politics, politics will ignore you,” he warned, with the gravitas of a sage. “Let’s not wake up 10 years from now in a poorer, weaker country because we made bad decisions today.”

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2025-05-28 19:57