So, United Rentals. [URI 0.63%] dropped almost 15% this week. Fifteen percent! It’s just…rude. Like, you’re expecting a reasonably predictable trajectory, a little bump here, a little gain there, and then bam – a double-digit plummet. What happened? They missed estimates. Missed! It’s not about hitting the number, it’s about the principle of the thing. Analysts expect things, companies should try to meet them. Is that too much to ask? Apparently.
The quarterly report? Revenue was up a measly 3%. Three percent! I mean, come on. It’s barely perceptible. It’s like ordering a large coffee and getting a slightly bigger medium. You don’t even notice, and then you’re left feeling vaguely cheated. Net income was down 5%. Down! It’s a simple equation, people. More in, less out. It’s not rocket science.
And the guidance. Oh, the guidance. They’re projecting revenue for 2026 between $16.8 and $17.3 billion. The analysts were looking for…$17.1 billion. Right in the middle. So, basically, they’re saying, “We have no idea what’s going to happen, so we’re going to give you a range so broad it’s functionally useless.” It’s infuriatingly noncommittal. Like when someone says, “Maybe” when you ask them a direct question. Just say yes or no! It’s not that hard.
Look, I get it. The specialty equipment business is doing well. Fine. Good for them. But that’s not enough. Investors want growth. They want to see a clear path forward. They want…enthusiasm. And what they got was a lukewarm report and a shrug. A shrug! It’s disrespectful. It’s like going to a restaurant and the waiter just looks at you blankly when you order. What is that?
Then, of course, Bank of America had to weigh in. Michael Feniger – lovely name, by the way – lowered his price target from $1,050 to $1,020. Twenty bucks! It’s not even a full tank of gas these days. But it’s the gesture that gets me. It’s like saying, “Yeah, this stock is okay, but not that okay.” It’s a subtle dig, and I don’t appreciate it. Especially after the earnings report. It’s piling on, and it’s unnecessary.
I’m not saying it’s a terrible company. It’s just…disappointing. You expect a certain level of competence, a certain level of forward thinking. And what you get is…this. A slow, agonizing decline. And frankly, it’s just bad manners. It’s like a guest showing up late to a party with a half-empty bottle of wine. It’s just not a good look.
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2026-01-31 00:52