Uniswap Falls Flat on Its Face as Crypto Index Takes a Tumble! Guess Who’s Still Dancing?

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Gather ’round, you twiddlers and fiddlers of digital coins, for today’s market tale is not for the faint of wallet. CoinDesk Indices has peeked at its abysmally exciting collection of coins, the so-called CoinDesk 20, and the results are about as comforting as a banana in a shoebox.

The CoinDesk 20 is wobbling at the princely sum of 3335.09, dropping like a lead pancake—down 1.0% (-34.87), and that’s just since teatime yesterday (4 p.m. ET, for those polite enough to keep time).

Out of 20 brave digital tokens, only one is showing any signs of actual enthusiasm. The rest? Lounging around like lazy cats in the sun, not a care in the blockchain world.

Leaders: If leadership means not tripping over your shoelaces, give a limp round of applause to XRP (+0.9%) and AVAX (-0.1%). RBC, at least, seems to have put its socks on the right way round. AVAX, meanwhile, is trying to lead by getting lost.

Laggards: Please commiserate with UNI, which plummeted a glorious 6.8% (ouch! somebody check on its mum), and APT, tailing behind with a measly -4.6%. If you hear wailing in the distance, it’s probably just those two.

For those still awake at the back: the CoinDesk 20 is a potpourri of crypto tokens, traded everywhere from the soggy rainforests of South America to the suspiciously shiny apartments overlooking the Thames, and even your neighbor’s suspiciously bright laptop.

That’s today’s crypto circus, folks. 🎪 One coin did a cartwheel, the rest are sprawled on the floor. Who needs stability when you could have… suspense?

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2025-05-14 17:38